Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 28, 2015

If the wife wants it done right, she should do it herself.

Any password more complicated would stump Larry also.

Yesterday, Sunday, Sept. 27th, Stephan gave a presentation at the Palladium Theater in St. Petersburg, FL. I attended, and enjoyed about an hour and twenty minutes of great entertainment. We laughed! We clapped! (I was sitting up in the balcony with a couple of sixtyish folks who sat there like statues while the rest of us were carrying on. Don’t know why they bothered coming.) Anyhow, another guy sat across from Stephan and asked him questions. Different Pearls strips would be shown and Stephan would talk about them. He went into outrageous things he’d done that would upset the censors, elaborate schemes he’d work out with other cartoonists to run certain things on the same day, the thrill he’d had in working with Bill Watterson, the fallout from his (fake) breakup with Stacy, and other fun topics. Then he took questions from the audience, and brought down the house with some of his quips. Wish I had time to go into more specific detail, but it’s too late for me to think and this is long enough.To sum up, you done good, Steph!P. S.: Stephan, there were an unusual number of old folks (like me) in the crowd, because this was St. PETERSburg, FL! Until the Chamber of Commerce put the kibosh on it, people elsewhere used to call St. Pete “the City of the Newlywed and Nearly Dead.” We still kind of are.

Poor Larry, can’t understand what he’s doing wrong.

Maybe he should try: “beer”.

Grrrr! Dey so clever!Larry, not so much.Maybe he should only be allowed restricted access to a family computer managed by Patti.

Pooch Cafe also about bank account passwords.

It’s not the password, Larry, it’s the fact you had it on a sticky note attached to your monitor.

Larry is a crocodile, not a monitor.

Grrrr, him so stoopid!

Try “NotLarry”

I dunno who’s more stupid here. The Larry, or the wife for telling Larry to do something she knows he can’t do.

Wow, he spelled “Larry” right…

Maybe Larry is more clever that we give him credit for. Maybe Larry “hacked” his own account to get money for beer without his wife knowing about it. Nah, nvm, it’s Larry…

Did he use all upper case?

If laughter is the best medicine, then I could use a “Larry” prescription every morning!

Next, he’ll change it to “12345,” the same combination he has on his luggage.:(Ever see that movie?)

why on earth isn’t larry’s wife in charge of this?

His password should be “Larryhasamarblestatue2015”

xxx

I’m glad that some commenters enjoyed hearing a bit about Stephan’s performance yesterday (Sunday, September 27th). I felt kind of bad leaving out funny specifics, but at the same time was hesitant to step on Steph’s toes by giving away “spoiler-alert” stuff for people who might attend his future programs. Of course, he has a treasure-trove of stories, but seemed to cover quite a range of them yesterday. Since he based his talk on questions and improvises quite nicely, I’ I’ll provide something of what I recall. A big caveat is that I may not have heard everything (in fact, I showed up fifteen minutes late because of the difficulty in finding a parking space, and having to walk nearly three blocks), and some of my facts may be mixed up (I call them “fatcs”).

First off, re: Today’s strip: Steph said that either his favorite character, or favorite Croc, is Larry. When Larry was all teary eyed awhile back when his son Junior went off to boarding school, accompanied Junior there and finally had to be ejected, that arc started on the same day that Steph’s actual son went off to college. (The audience went “Awww!”)

Now let’s go to the two things that got the biggest laughs:

The Turkey Incident

One of the characters was in Turkey for some reason, and Steph named one of the Turkish characters “Ataturk.” Now, this was a HUGE no-no, because Ataturk is revered in Turkey. The emails started pouring in right after the first strip ran. Then someone figured that “Pastis” is a Greek name, and things got worse, because Turkey and Greece are big rivals. Some Turkish person called Steph on the phone, and for some reason Steph gave kind of a flippant answer. It happened that the guy was a reporter, and Steph’s remark was printed on the first page of Turkey’s leading newspaper. (I wish I could recall all the details – they kept piling up, and the audience was roaring and clapping [see my comment below on where to find some more details]). The upshot was that the Turkish embassy in Washington became involved, Congress, maybe, and Steph had to write a proper apology.

The Guisewhite Brouhaha

Another brouhaha occurred in an arc in which Steph made fun of the comic strip character Cathy. In the climactic strip, Steph had Cathy Guisewite, the creator of the strip “Cathy,’ playing nude Twister (maybe in a hot tub) with some guy. (News flash: I just found a site that tells some of this stuff in detail, but I gotta pack for Wisconsin, where I’ll go in eight days, and all. See http://cartoonician.com/swine-connoisseur-the-stephan-pastis-interview/ ). Anyhow, Steph thought that maybe he’d better call and ask Cathy Guisewite for permission. She did NOT give it, and implied that if he went through with this, she’d sue. Long story short, he’d already submitted it, and it had been prepared for publication. Ultimately, someone had to call every editor and ask him or her to remove the strip. Each paper had to remove the strip via the computer and substitute another.

One little hitch, though – someone at the Seattle newspaper didn’t get the word, and the offending strip ran in that paper. Steph had to call Cathy G. and plead for his life. Around a year later, he won the Reuben award, and guess who the presenter was? She was ok on stage, but they had to go to an anteroom for pictures. He was braced for an hours-long lecture, but what she said was, “I’m so proud of you!” Now they’re great friends.

Well, this ought to do it for now. Mr. Pastis, please forgive me! (Folks, don‘t call him “Steph” unless you know he’s okay with it.) I’m not only sorry that I upset you (if I did), I’m also truly remorseful to my very core. :’-( And the rest of you, please read the column I gave you if you want more, and find some on your own if you want more.

Steph who??

Here’s a hearty "You’re welcome, " “enjoyed your reminiscence,” ‘Thanks for your kind wishes," or whatever else you wish I’d say and/or whatever is appropriate to F6F5Hellcat, Arianne, gopher gofer, and mammamoonbeam!

I actually came up with a password idea that would work for pretty much everyone (especially if they’ve moved around a lot). By using the first phone number I ever had as a child I have a great password, I memorized the # as a child and by this time no one outside of my immediate family remembers it or associates it with me.

Well, at least Larry didn’t choose the word “password” …

And Larry so not clever.