Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for March 11, 2016

Good to see Calvin developing survival skills.

Calvin’s Survival Skills: get your copy today! Send all money to Calvin and Hobbes.

Or scissors.

Never insult a phlebotomist before he/she has drawn your blood.

so true, Calvin

As my dentist says, “Always speak politely to someone standing over you with a sharp instrument.”

Especially if he knows a woman who makes meat pies.

I am always looking for a bargain, but I think I goofed when I asked the barber if I could get half off…. I shoulda known when he agreed a bit too quickly.

Someone should have told that to Sweeney Todd’s first victim.

Three people never to insult:

1. The person with a sharp instrument in their hand2. The person who prepares your food3. The person who has control of the checkbook

Bobarion said, about 11 hours ago@neverenoughgoldSo happy for you now that you have things explained. Now you know all about me and ain’t that just peachy keen.

I’m a 73 year old guy with an 18 year old mind, and my female barber talked about breast lumps the other day. I was willing, but she could really kick my boys into next year.

Good call Calvin.

Gioachino Rossini, composer of the opera “The Barber of Seville” (FEEEEE-ga-ro!!!!) was leaving his barber’s when the barber said, “Until tonight, maestro.”.Rossini turned, puzzled. “Tonight?”.“Yes. Tonight is the first rehearsal for “Torvaldo”, is it not?".“Well, yes.”.“I play first clarinet in the orchestra.”.Sure enough, when Rossini arrived at the theater that evening, there was the barber in the first clarinet’s chair. And after the rehearsal, everyone commented on how calmly Rossini discussed the barber’s mistakes, while screaming at everyone else.

I wonder if he knows Dad has a razor?

Or as I learned, Avoid arguments with men carrying automatic weapons. Unfortunately I know this from personal experience.

Or a dentist when they are poking around your mouth with sharp tools.For any smart guys, I know you can’t talk with your mouth wide open so maybe the criticism will occur BEFORE the dentist pokes those tools around in your mouth.xxx

Me every single time I go to the hair stylist xD.

Or a comb.

I guess Sweeney Todd was one of the movies Calvin rented when he was home alone.

Still missing our friend Hobbes the commentator. Hope for a reunion here soon …