Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 10, 2016

You never know when that pianist in the sky will play your tune.

Does this mean the Grim Reaper is really Billy Joel?

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. On the bar he notices a small piano. A short time later, a man less than a foot tall climbs up on the bar and sits down in front of the piano and starts playing beautifully. After playing the most beautiful music the customer has ever heard, the small man climbs down from the bar and goes into a back room.

The customer turn to bartender and says, “that guy is amazing, where did you find him?”The bartender answers, “I was walking along the beach when I found this old bottle. When I opened the bottle a genie came out. The genie said he would grant me a wish for freeing him. But the genie was hard of hearing and he gave me a 10 inch pianist.”

Today’s strip brought to you by the Acme Corporation.

Guess it’s better than an anvil on the head.

That anecdote struck a chord with Pig.He would not only be on his last leg, he’ll be on his last eight legs.One things for certain, he’ll B flat.

I used to play the piano, but it’s been so long I’m not even sure I remember which end you’re supposed to blow into.

You’re are like the guy who was busted for shooting someone with a bow and arrow. he claimed he didn’t know it was loaded.

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?

A♭m

Pig will be an extra downwind in a Northern Exposure revival episode in which the Fling will catapult a piano onto him.

Can’t beat logistics!

Pianos keep falling on my head.That doesn’t mean that I will soon be squashed flat, deadWith a piano on my head!Those pianos keep falling on my head, they keep fallingNothing’s worrying me’Cause I might get on TV …

See On the Defenestration of Pianos for a scholarly dissertation on the chances of this happening in what passes for reality around here.

Pig’s eulogy will be delivered by Wile. E. Coyote.

Aw, I wanted a continuation of the “pun intervention.” Cute strip, though.

My music teacher told me that pianos are like women…if they’re not upright then they’re grand.

157000 dead souls and only one really grand piano—even larger by far than a Bösendorfer Imperial (weighing in at over 1200 pounds). Pig may just be right in imagining himself the center of a coming apocalypse….

I think Laurel and Hardy did it best.

Which begs the disturbing and all-absorbing question. Given it’s probably going yo be a vintage player piano, what song will it be playing on the way down?

What the hell?!?! I just looked up that stat yesterday. I’m sure he hasn’t hacked my account, so I’ve got to believe SP reads Quora.

a megaton meteor shaped exactly like a grand piano and eerily sounding like the theme song from the movie ‘a good day to die hard’ as it streaked through space, has hit the atmosphere shattering into 157,000 pieces and causing grave consequences all around the world.

So Pig will make it 157,001? Trust him to mess up a nice round number!

If I repeated my work as much as Stephan does I’d be living in a homeless shelter! LOL!

The question nobody asked is, why were all 157,000 people at the same place and at the same time as Pig?

Believe it or not, Today I took a quiz which would predict when I was going to die and my apparent date of death is 1st July, 2024.

So I will be 29 when I die.

By the way, It was just for fun. I don’t normally do quizzes like that. Or quizzes of any kind.

xxx

Speaking of strange ways to die, I had an uncle who fell into a loom and was woven to death.

Haha! Good one!

That’s a lot of damage!