Frank and Ernest by Thaves for May 29, 2016
Transcript:
Frank: This "Heavenly Gazette" is awfully thin. There doesn't seem to be a financial section. Ernie: Because you can't take it with you. Frank: There's no weather forecast. Ernie: It's perfect every day. Frank: I don't see any sports scores. Ernie: Everybody's a winner up here! Frank: And there are no political reports. Ernie: Of course not.....in paradise we don't hear anything about politics.
Max Starman Jones over 8 years ago
No politicians ever make it there.
skeeterhawk over 8 years ago
I’ll be a party-pooper and say, otherwise he’s made it sound pretty dull up there. Without any challenges, it could become pretty stagnant.
WOODNFLINT over 8 years ago
No need for vital statistics either………….
WOODNFLINT over 8 years ago
No travel section either, once you arrive you never leave…….
WOODNFLINT over 8 years ago
No comic pages either, not necessary, it’s always a laugh a minute……………….
1953Baby over 8 years ago
@MaxStarmanJones: Good one! makes heaven almost worth working toward. . .
Perkycat over 8 years ago
Not ready yet but in this election year, no political reports sound inviting.
skyriderwest over 8 years ago
Heaven is a theocracy – no need for politics. There is only one leader and He’s not stepping down anytime soon.
Dapperdan61 Premium Member over 8 years ago
No politics ? It does sound Heavenly
scyphi26 over 8 years ago
Which is why I’d prefer to go there rather than the other place.
3pibgorn9 over 8 years ago
Or even need politics.
Phatts over 8 years ago
There was a Twilight Zone episode where a common hoodlum died, and he wakes up in a wonderful place where everything works exactly right. He goes to the Craps table, and rolls nothing but Sevens. He tries Billiards, and every Opening Shot sinks every ball. All the ladies are constantly fawning over him.Heaven!After a while, he gets bored, horribly, terribly bored, and asks if he can go to the Other Place. The Boss starts laughing and tells him, “This IS the Other Place!”
markjoseph125 over 8 years ago
Two comics in a row (see Foxtrot) about fantasyland.And, of course, the obligatory religious prattling by someone pretending that ancient myths are cold sober fact, this time courtesy of Nab. I’m presuming that Matthew 25.31-46 is not in his big book of magic myths.
neverenoughgold over 8 years ago
The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.
At the pearly gates, St. Peter told Arthur, “Since you’ve been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, Your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven.”
Arthur thought about this for a minute and then said, “I want tohang out with God.”
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God. God recognized Arthur and commented, “Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley Davidson motorcycle?”
Arthur said, “Yep, that’s me.”
God said, “Well, what’s the big deal in inventing something that’s pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can’t run without a road?”
Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally he said, “Excuse me, but aren’t you the inventor of woman?”
God said, “Yes.”
“Well,” said Arthur, “professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:
1. There’s too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusions;2. It chatters constantly at high speeds;3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much;4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;5. And the maintenance costs are enormous!”
“Hmmmmm, you have some good points there,” replied God, “hold on.”
God went to His Celestial super computer, typed in some key words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.
“Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,” God said toArthur, “but according to these statistics, more men are ridingmy invention than yours.”