Arlo and Janis by Jimmy Johnson for October 16, 2016

Amart Alec, you’d better put that water on to boil if you want dinner!

He should be in the middle of making it now.

Actually, it depends….

Sometimes it sounds like “bloop blurp… blup”

And then when you turn off the flame it goes quiet.

Also…when a now-grown niece was 3, my brother left her at the table for a few minutes….

when he came back, she was trying to vacuum up her spaghetti with the “Dustbuster.”

She said she wanted to hear how it sounded.

She’s going to walk into a tree some day. It’ll say /ouCH/!

I was in Eufaula, Alabama, and stopped to get some ice cream. I asked the girl at the counter. “How do you pronounce the name of this place?” She looked at me a little stangely and slowly said, “DEH-ree Kweene.”

Well that’s Arlo for you. Back to the same Rotini.

I thought it was more of a ‘schlllroooop’ sound

I don’t get it.

oh.

Eufaula sounds like what Janice will do if she doesn’t watch where she walks…

Down heah we’uns call it You-falla. You think that’s bad? “Arab” is pronounced /A – rab/ not /Err -rub/. The reason is long lost to history.

Gotcha all beat up here in New Hampsha. . .

“Boscawen” is pronounced “BOSK – whine” for reasons lost to antiquity.

Massachusetts has some doozies. Some names, like Gloucester and Worcester, get their pronunciations straight from England, but others are native Massachusetts. Leominster is pronounced “Lem’minsta” and Barnstable is “Bahn’stahbǝl.”

How do you get italics and boldface in a text message!?

No, no, no. I happened in Kosciusko, Mississippi.

Arlo is a wise-ass.