Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 20, 2016
Transcript:
"Pre-history of 'Pearls'. The radiation from the nuclear blast caused genetic mutations, giving each animal on Earth incredible skill, far beyond their normal capabilities." Pig: I can talk! Goat: I can read! Larry: Me can step on ants! "Well, not every animal." Larry: Dey bite my @*#*@*# toes! Dey bite my @*#*@*# toes!
BE THIS GUY about 8 years ago
What skills did the ants get?
AGED_ENGINEER Premium Member about 8 years ago
Well, not a true prehistory because Goat does not have his whiskers, which didn’t disappear for quite a while after the strip debuted.
Templo S.U.D. about 8 years ago
Larry must’ve stepped on fire ants. (An Ernest P. Worrell had a picnic with Sprite soda and unexpected fire ants once.)
Sherlock Watson about 8 years ago
Sing along with Sherlock:
:
The ants go marching one by one,
Hurrah, hurrah.
The ants go marching one by one,
Hurrah, hurrah.
The ants go marching one by one,
They bite an idiot’s toes for fun,
And they all go marching
Down, in the ground, to get out, of the rain.
Boom, boom, boom…
bigcatbusiness about 8 years ago
Try stepping on a bee. You’ll feel it for a while.
Dobie Takahama about 8 years ago
I can move! I can talk! I can walk!
Adiraiju about 8 years ago
I got bit several times on the foot by a fire ant a few years ago when it got trapped in my sandal. The mark is still there!
OldMan44 about 8 years ago
He shoulda bought some alligator boots to protect his toes.
ozed about 8 years ago
So, assuming the last three characters of Larry’s cursing are “i-n-g” and we’re looking at a simple substitution cypher, then he’s saying, “Dey bite my ingning toes!” You’re welcome.
juicebruce about 8 years ago
Croc Power ! …………. Except for ants :-(
mortaur about 8 years ago
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Your strip is finally funny! Good one Steph!
jessegooddoggy about 8 years ago
Birdwatching in Texas one fall, I suddenly felt stings on my thighs and realized I was standing in an ant hill. I had to peel off my favorite pair of knee socks and leave them hanging in a bush as they were literally moving with big mean biting ants.
Cameron1988 Premium Member about 8 years ago
I was waiting for one with Rat in a bar with a glass of liquor in his hand saying “I can drink”
Chad Cheetah about 8 years ago
Did the ants gain intelligence?
Radish the wordsmith about 8 years ago
L’il Guard Duck, skilled with weapons.
Alberta Oil Premium Member about 8 years ago
I.. don’t think crocodiles are in the “animal” family so they were left out of the incredible skill blessing. On the plus side.. those without that blessing will be around long after those with the most blessing “us” have done ourselves in.
MeGoNow Premium Member about 8 years ago
So, after the blast, animals could talk and read… but Pastis still couldn’t draw legs.
pugmahone12 about 8 years ago
thanks for the crocs
asianwoof about 8 years ago
Poor Larry. Croc had thick legs but now has spindly feet.
Loopy Frogger Premium Member about 8 years ago
It must be the Croc’s thick skin or maybe their tiny brain that protected them from the radiation. Gotta love the Croc’s they always make me laugh. Larry’s wife and son seem to be pretty smart though….
zeexenon about 8 years ago
Hey! My kids read this, when I let them out of the crawl space to change their papers!!
hariseldon59 about 8 years ago
Now Larry sings “Dead ant dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant….” to the Pink Panther theme.
bigcatbusiness about 8 years ago
At least the only thing good about being stung by a bee is that I discovered I’m not allergic. And AlexanderTheGoodEnough… how can you survive something that it’s famous for “killing cows?”
danketaz Premium Member about 8 years ago
…except for the non-anthropomorphic critters of course.
skipper1992 about 8 years ago
So … who should I smack first? Sherlock for “The ants go marching one by one” or DobieT for being just close enough to “I Can Talk” from “Charlotte’s Web” to trigger that earworm?
rwstyles1234 about 8 years ago
There is a type of ant called “bullet ants” – because that’s how much they hurt – that is said to be the most painful insect sting ever. Oddly enough, their sting is completely non allergenic.
Sisyphos about 8 years ago
Dare I suggest, inspired by Spider-Man?
—Except that Spider-Man is far sillier and less believable than Cartoon-Boy’s pre-history and radiation-induced abilities in the characters who would come to populate his strip. It’s all so plausible! I believe! I believe! Clap clap!
ebrooks over 5 years ago
I hope this didn’t affect how you voted. Toonboy probably believed fascists can’t become president
LilPeruna over 3 years ago
’Don’t tread on an ant, he’s done nothing to you. There might come a time when he’s treading on you! Don’t tread on an ant, you’ll end up black and blue. You cut off his head, legs come looking for you!’