Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for January 19, 2017

Boooooooooooriiiiinnnnnnngggggg…

Pleased to meet you … hope you guess my name.

Gil’s a little slow on the uptake. P4: “Did you say ‘Kill the Noise?’”

Hey, Gil, that kid behind you in P1 is doing drugs. Get him!

That clears it up because nobody could come up with a cover story like that and find somebody (who he might be sharing his E with) to corroborate his story. Now who’s going to ID the whistleblowers and cause team dissent?

Is the kid behind Gil in P1 praying for this story line to end, like the rest of us?

I can’t remember the peacock kid’s name, much less his girlfriend’s, but I do recall her calling him her “boo.” And here’s Gil, using beau, as my mother used to when describing her boyfriends of the 1930s.

For you Chip. Check out 1/24/2013. Little Jaybird Fowler was as proud as a peacock showing off for big brother (Great) Scott “Boo” Fowler. Girlfriend Mia Paige was in a slump. Since Mark Grace was nowhere to be found, Scott finally showed Mia the peacock. Some of Rod’s best work ever.

Fistpump man and his friends are leaving. When is it baseball season?

So it’s not the drugs he’s on, it’s the girl he’s on. A Quad still has some splainin’ to do about why he keeps crapping out in the 2nd half.

Gil suddenly seems very interested in Good Golly Miss Molly. The old boy hasn’t been this turned on since Holly Dobbs left town. Again. I predict that as long as she keeps showing up for the games, Gil will too.

P3, Hey, A Quad, you might want to shake those ants off that towel before you get too handsy with Molly.

I think the guy in P1 is playing the latest Kill the Noise release on his harmonica.

“Your beau?” What decade are we living in? Oh yeah, it’s Milford. And Aaaaron’s dialog in P2 and P3 sure doesn’t sound stilted and rehearsed. As someone who asked for a 4-day recess to explain his case might do. If I was the prosecution I’d object, Aaaaron obviously used the delay to pay off and coach his witness. And speaking of payoffs, your payoff for reading this rant is getting to read today’s Mopped Up Thorp:

https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

So, it’s time to remind the athletes to avoid sex before games. As General Jack D. Ripper would say “preserve your precious bodily fluids”.

Yeah, the ants are all over Milford’s equipment. It’s a losing battle. In fact, I recently did some freelance work for ClickHole, detailing my struggle with this problem. You can read it here: http://www.clickhole.com/article/aw-jeez-look-all-these-ants-2488

Is too soon for Bitsy is missing alarm bells? Haven’t seen her smiling green face for a few days.

Someone’s going to have to vet Molly