The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for January 20, 2017

What an ash!

Wattle she complain about next.

She’s rubbering him the wrong way. If she would become the apple of his eye, he would spruce up a bit also.

Two thumbs up, very punny :o)

Don’t be a nut, Meg!

Elm telling yew, don’t needle him all the time…

Yew were the most poplar girl in class….

and he fell hard.

Birthday rings don’t show what’s in his heartwood…

He only ever wanted to grow alder with you….

but every time yew balsam more over nothing, he gets more board with it.

Treasure your deep roots…

You don’t need to give a fig about what Magnolia gets.

Going out on a limb here, she’s all bark and no bite.

Makes you want to break into song:

Leaping from tree to tree, as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia. The Giant Redwood. The Larch. The Fir! The mighty Scots Pine! The lofty flowering Cherry! The plucky little Apsen! The limping Roo tree of Nigeria. The towering Wattle of Aldershot! The Maidenhead Weeping Water Plant! The naughty Leicestershire Flashing Oak! The flatulent Elm of West Ruislip! The Quercus Maximus Bamber Gascoigni! The Epigillus! The Barter Hughius Greenus!

With my best buddy by my side, we’d sing! Sing! I’m a lumberjack, and I’m okay.I sleep all night and I work all day.

Tamarack! (which for those that don’t know, sounds very similar to a cuss word in Acadian French)

Go see the movie “No Countree for Old Birch Trees.”

Why “Birch, Birch, Birch”?

That must be Jack Aranda.

Willow in self pithy.

You could always blame it on Bush.

If you birch the sap won’t fall fir yew…

I wooden touch this pun party for anything.

“There is unrest in the forest, there is trouble with the trees,,,”

Maybe they should just sign a treety. After all, it’s quite an illustreeous issue and very intreeging. Althought there might be some treebulation during the discussions, I’m sure with some treensparancy and after everyone opined about the subject, they’d reach the root of the problem. They could pick a neutral place to sign the final document, for example, Montreeal. It would be a treemendous event. Yew of course wood all be invited.

How does he have the nerve to tree-t his readers like this!

Stop! No more tree puns. Hilburn set you up. You have all been bamboozled.

If you want to be poplar, don’t make an ash of yourself.

They will not have a good marriage until they get to the root of their problem.