Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 28, 2017

“…and also a drunk.”

You can lead a horse to water, but he’ll still want a beer.

And you drink all my beer.

Putting down your horse can be costly. He gets sad, he drinks more and that runs up your bar tab.

Neighsayer…

That’s Rat for you. Never saddled with guilt about his unbridled cruelty. (And yet he can’t bareback talk.)

Zebra’s thinking: "Why does our creator keep doing this? Why? Why? Why? WHY?!

We all share Zebra’s pain!

I would have to put down a horse too, if someone handed me one.

I mean, those things are heavy.

I don’t think I could stand there and hold a horse for more than a few seconds….

Not even if somebody said “hold your horses!”

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, “Why the long face?”

Whiskey for the men, beer for my horses.

But Hoyt would only ask for water for his horses.

I think rat was just “horsing” around

When family members say, “Put down the camera,” I say, “You’re a bad camera.”

Zebra! Long time no see!

If I was the horse I think I’d rather be put down than be verbally abused

Sheesh, when was the last time we’ve seen Zebra?!

Nag. Nag. Nag.

why does an animal have a pet animal?

He’d answer back, but he’s a little Horse…

Horse: “No sir, I don’t like it!”

Just a question. Do horses eat rats?

If you don’t want him, Rat then I’LL take him. I love horses. Lovely animals.

xxx

You can lead a horse to Waterbury [CT], but you can’t take him on the bus.

Zebra: “Where’s Rat today?”Pig: “He’s sitting next to you talking to a horse…you’re looking right at him.”

Good to see Zeeba Neighba get the Straight Man’s part today, I guess Goat was taking a Personal Day, ehh, Cartoon-Boy?

Anyway, I have one question for you:

Why did the horse go into the bar?

I mean, if he hadn’t come into Rat’s space, he could have avoided all the put-downs and puns lavished upon him by today’s addicted commenters….

I used to hang out with a “friend” who was constantly keeping track of everything that was wrong with me. I finally put him down…Mickey Finn in his Harvey Wallbanger. He made such a lovely centerpiece at the funeral…

I couldn’t put it down..or can I?