Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for June 25, 2017

I think that “God Liver Oil” will cure just about everything else on this listing.

(Does it mix well with bourbon?)

Is indestructible stool anything like fake plastic vomit?

I want a new stomach. Here’s my address: 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington, DC 20500

Every man and woman should know about THIS knob:

http://www.boredpanda.com/le-clitoris-documentary-lori-malepart-traversy/

It pays to advertise.

Fist fights, knives, and HAIR PULLING. I guess that means no merkin grabbing either.

I had an indestructible stool once…

If you have 9 sheep and 2 heifers, in Arkansas* you don’t need a wife. 

* Motto: 3 Million People, 15 Last Names

It’s your buckwheat cakes along with crispy bacon that set my heart to aching…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEn3DSsITCs

P.S. I may be dreaming, but haven’t we seen that knob before?

All women know the knob vibrates, right?

That knob was actually meant as the original pulling device to push the ball into a pinball machine..

Leave it to advertising to tell me I need a caboose. We’re told we need everything else. Where would I even put it? There’s very little room in my hut. Maybe I could attach the caboose to my hut. Who wouldn’t want to live in a maze of living space. More room for all the ghosts, too.

I keep hoping “bully”—meaning splendid, cool, neato, awesomesauce—makes a comeback. It never does.

Riding a Stutz Bear Cat, Jim

Ya know, those were different times

All the poets studied rules of verse

And those ladies they rolled their eyes

- The Velvet Underground: Sweet Jane

Histories of ages past

Unenlightened shadows cast

Down through all eternity

The crying of humanity

- Donovan; Hurdy Gurdy Man

Sorry, Chance, I don’t know how to do it either.

http://mashable.com/2017/06/20/dating-ad-1865/ Love it!

‘Tis a sad day when a bachelor of means in Aroostook County cannot find a suitable bride at any price. Alas, the lad may be driven to consort with the merchants of deviltry in some Bowery dive! If only he could first take some God liver oil and then, so vile it may be, knob up a local caboose stripped of stools by the efficacious practitioners of Pigeon, Pigeon, and Panties! It’s only fair, and it avoids the fist-fights, knives, and hair-pulling (unless on top of all the rest he suffers from trichotillomania).

Why, then, am I put in mind of The Ballad of Lucy Jordan? http;//tinyurl.com/hou68cc

And you may ask yourself

How do I work this?

@BRASS ORCHID -

Just grab hold and do what comes natural like!

Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was.