Agnes by Tony Cochran for July 19, 2017

“Lord, give me patience, NOW !”

Hmmmm … I remember being told the average 5’6" tall woman walks a mile in around 2500 steps,

though it depends on her stride length, which varies with fitness, balance, leg length, and other factors.

Agnes is a short-legged 10 year old child, so I’m going to take a wild guess and say she probably needs more like 5,000 steps to go a mile.

26 miles would take 130,000 steps….

and training for it by adding one step per day would take over 350 years.

But it won’t, cos in about 8 years she’ll be her adult height….

and maybe could pick up the pace, as well, after all that training.

So yeah … Trout would probably be about right.

However…. we already know it won’t take her more than a few days…

cos by Saturday she’ll have an entirely different life plan.

I have found that profound delusion is one of the more important life skills.

I wonder what kind of warmup routine Agnes will need for four steps. That seems pretty daunting in itself.

Time to retreat to the couch.

Rather than adding just one step every day, it might be better to go doubling each day. One step today, two tomorrow, four the next, eight the next. It’ll go faster that way.

“fourth” (not “forth”)

Agnes has the most grandest of delusions. When she deludes it is the best.