In the Bleachers by Ben Zaehringer for September 29, 2017

Waaaay over her network’s head. What can I make up that’s down at a media level of understanding.

If the plural of mouse is mice, why isn’t the plural of house hice? (Ba-Da-Boom…)

Rooves as a plural for of roof is dated, but not incorrect. The Oxford English Dictionary lists “rooves” as an alternate to roofs, one of several outdated spellings used in the UK, and in New England as late as the 19th century. [Google search result]

I can remember when dwarfs were dwarves…But why isn’t the singular of ‘grooves’, a ‘groof’???

Now we know why Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady are so cool under fire. They have mental capacity to spare. I always said that, contrary to popular stereotypes, football is a thinking man’s game.

And why isn’t the plural of moose meese? Or of mongoose mongeese?

That’s probably why he got sacked.

probably how’s he going to get the grass stains out of the knee of his uniform.

Why? Because!