Herman by Jim Unger for December 30, 2017

“Heads, I tell you about the rats, tails I tell you about the roaches.”

I suggest tossing several, in rapid succession and at high velocity, at the waiter and the cook.

They gotta clean the floors some way.

" The good news is… I picked it up quickly, so the 5 second rule applies. "

Yeah…toss a coin to select where you eat when you walk out of this dump!

Smother it with catsup and you’ll never know.

I have delivered to several diners and cafes over the years. You DO NOT want anything that has been dropped on the floor!! If the you could see what the “kitchen” looks like you would (a) leave & never return and (b) probably be sick if you have eaten there before!

Living (with luck) dangerously!

I was barbecuing some franks in a park beside a busy street. When one rolled onto the ground, I got it back onto the grill before the family noticed; until my wife heard someone shout from a passing car, “He dropped one on the ground!”