Herman by Jim Unger for July 09, 2018

This wedding has a future…a short one, but a future.

Third time is the charm, or three strikes, you’re out.

And this is about the time she’s down the road.

Looking at him, he might not have enough time to pay them off.

Still waiting for the life insurance policies to pay off….

When I get married, I automatically give them the house and the car. Their gonna get them anyway, and it saves time in divorce court.

A friend of mine bought his fiance a $4,000 engagement ring and financed it for 48 months. Three months later she broke off the engagement and refused to give the ring back! He took her to court and the finally settled out of court where she kept the ring and took over the payments. My friend lost the down payment and the monthly payments until the settlement but in the long run came out way ahead of going through with the wedding. Any of her future boyfriends need to be warned.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. Prince Philip

Marriage is good for those who are afraid to sleep alone at night. St. Jerome

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. Henny Youngman

Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory. Abraham Lincoln

I remember this one from about forty years ago.

Oops, wrong jewelry store.