Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for October 06, 2018

That’s what happens when you wear a 50lb walking dress, neck pain.

“Y’all done heerd about Demi Moore and her heavy work schedule? How it left he with no time for fun?” The old mountaineer shook his head. “Truth! Demi’s toil et up her free time.”

I suppose your waist and displaced abdominal organs go numb after a few years of abuse.

I must admit, your demitoilet is a tad more elaborate than mine.

Darn you.

Following musical nomenclature, I would like to see a demisemihemidemisemitoilet (1/32 as elaborate).

Why throw that demitoilet beside my day bed and I shall rub away the neck pain.

This is why I never do any visiting until afternoon. Quite frankly, this contest to see who can sport the most pointless and elaborate waste of time is simply too wearing.

Semi broil it, is how you make London Broil.

My dear you look so comfortable sitting on your demitoliet.

Why thank you sir, may I borrow a match?

That demitoilet is simply too pristine. Lemme soil it.

Mama, she shot Cap’n Poulet

Mama, she bought toileblutions

(with apologies to Maniac Killa (Featuring ICP, Blaze & Vampiro) by Twiztid)

Your neck hurts? Of corset does. Your diaphragm and spleen are next.

Pffft … I’m still working on what rhymes with “orange” …!

A crick in your neck / a brace at your waist / a pained look on your face / what a waste of lace / curses to the demitoilet! / if you’d allow, I’d uncoil it / soil it boil it / removing all turmoil of it / and all the while I’d enjoy it!

I wish I could print the picture I saw today of someone who had knitted their ramen noodles together with their chopsticks.

I don’t wear “walking dresses” and my neck does not hurt! QED!

I also do not indulge in the “demitoilet” ritual. Must be a ladies’ thing….

Bobblehead Betty.