Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for November 30, 2018

Just what I need when one of those pesky land sharks comes knocking…

Does it work on lawyers?

Have you priced that stuff lately?

I don’t know how useful this information is, but it’s mildly interesting.

No, no, no, no. Fish should be buried at sea. Lift the lid on the toilet, drop the fish in, flush.

Explosive compression and electrocution are the most humane, of course. So it is best to fish with TNT or electricity. The game wardens will try to rain on your parade though, so make sure you bring a plastic poncho.

“Santiago, call your office.”

So what do we do about Daryl Hannah’s cousin here, who appears to be turning quite aquatic?

Hang em from a stringer, and show em off on the dock.

Yes, we all kill things and eat them to live. I’ve always felt sorry for tomatoes.

Most ichthyologists agree that inhumane fish oil makes for a rich source of omega-3s …

Humane clove oil? … not so much …!

Bury it so as to not waste 5 gallons of water flushing it into the sewer.

Compassionate homicide is the best kind of fishicide.

Yummy, I put together a bag of frozen shrimp from the fridge, YES, IT SEEMS DEAD.

tuna safe

I came here to spread clove oil and to lop off roly-poly fish heads, and I’m all out of clove oil….