Herman by Jim Unger for February 08, 2019

“No, we need you at the back of the plane in case we need an extra push.”

“Oh, OK, I didn’t know I was so important.”

Sure, if you pay for it.

up-charge.

Unclear of the concept.

I miss those days when you cold drive to the airport, park in front of the terminal, go to the counter, get checked in by the same person who loaded the luggage. Then you see the crew arrive carrying lunch for the flight. You then board the plane though the gate (a chain link fence with a gate in it).

You enter through the tail of the aircraft, strap into a spacious seat and look out the window as the plane shakes as you watch the props struggle to turn around and then the airfield is obscured by a blue haze of burning oil as the engine finally catches.

Southern Airlines: Valdosta Municipal Airport – 1970s.

I would have had more confidence if the pilot didn’t have a patch on the back of his jacket that said, “Billy Bob’s Crop Dusting Service.” I wondered why parts of the flight were accomplished at an altitude of 5 feet.

You gotta give that guy his props.

“My whirligig will spin faster!”

In a small twin engine, everything is near the front; and its not always fun, because you can hear the pilots. On final approach to a small Egyptian strip, I overheard, “You keep eyes on that kite someone’s flying, and I’ll watch the camels. Is that a cement block?”

You can sit on the wing as long as you don’t scare William Shatner.

SOP for landing a small plane at an airstrip in the African bush is to make two approaches. The first to scare off the giraffe, warthogs, painted dogs, impala, and lions and the second to actually land.

Years ago when I was with the California Jaycees, there was a convention held on Catalina Island. Two ways to get there: by boat, or the old Navy twin engine plane. Got to sit in front with the pilot going and coming from the island !

“Sure, just hop up on the nose there. But better do up your coat — it gets cold at 10,000 feet!”

“I’d like a window seat.”