Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for February 22, 2019

That’s no tutu he’s wearing, it’s at least a fourfour.

What makes you say that, Dorothy? I wouldn’t hurt so much as a bird.

For a guy in a dress, he has one big pecker there.

Another sign that the world is coming to an end.

Is there a “Dance of the Sugarplum Chickens” in the latest staging of the Nutcracker?

David dances to a different chicken.

You have nothing to fear but the chicken dance itself.

“I’m not ‘David’. Today I’m ‘Darcey’. Have some respect.”

Which is odd, because , right now, David feels less conflicted than he has his whole life.

Go for it, Dave! Rock your Ballet Chicken!

David has always sent out mixed signals. Remember the time he showed up at the Tiki wearing nothing but a cowboy hat, boots with spurs, and carrying a parasol ?

Not a pretty sight, I must say. Put me right off my beer and barbecued yak ribs !

If he’s going to San Francisco, he won’t even be noticed.

What are you squawking about?

“I’m just going out to tell people why the chicken crossed the road, to get Tutu the other side. Anyway, I’ll be beak…”

He refuses to be henpecked.

There are, incidentally, a couple of dozen videos of performances of one chicken lake ballet or another on YouTube. They range from animations to child performers to professional dancers.

He’s just an old cluck who’s tried out for a Broadway show. “His performance ,” said the New York Times , " like Wall Street of 1929, laid an egg!"

Dave’s conflict stems from the fact that the neighbours consider their block to be free of dancing chickens. They warned him.

Or for the Gay Pride