That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for February 11, 2019

“I know he’s a drunken louse, just stay with him for a couple of years then divorce him and take him for everything he has.” Says the desperate father.

“Don’t worry about loving him. That’s what the gardener is for.”

“Don’t worry, you know the saying; nothing can go wrong unless he sees you before the service.”

“I tried to convince your brother to leave out jokes about your halitosis and your incurable foot fungus during his speech as the best man, but after he gets a couple of drinks in him there’s no telling what he’ll say. But don’t despair, by that time the groom won’t be able to back out gracefully and the dowry will already be in the bank. In my view that’s a win-win!”

“The good news is that he says he’ll soon be getting a dishwasher. The bad news is that it’s you.”

I would never join any club that would have me for a member.

G. Marx

“Yes, of course I have longer pants. I just didn’t know this was a formal wedding.”

“It’s just a wart, Myrtle. You let a frog pee on you, didn’t you. Say eleven Hail Hermits and you’ll be fine.”

…he’ll beat you every night. But only when he’s sober so you’re alright…. – lyric from a song in Fiddler On The Roof.

Well, maybe not such a good family, but at least we know what kind of family he’s from.

“Don’t worry, princess. If he doesn’t marry you l will!”

Bride wondering if those shoes would look better on her feet.

Löffler seems to have had a thing about brides. There are at least two other paintings by him on the same theme: “Die Braut.” (No. that’s not “Das Brat”!

“Yes, father, everyone can see your erection through those pants. But if you’ll just button your tunic all the way down and stop man-spreading, perhaps no one will notice.”

“Just lie back, close your eyes and think of England….”

“I’m wearing these pants to show off my legs, which are better than yours, after all.”

The Bride: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Leopold_L%C3%B6ffler-Radymno_Die_Braut_1852.jpg 

(best viewed by Google Chrome which can automatically translate most pages as necessary) has info and links that point to info about this roughly B2 paper size painting.

https://www.the-athenaeum.org/people/detail.php?ID=11408 

http://www.pinakoteka.zascianek.pl/Loeffler/Loeffler_bio.htm 

https://desa.pl/pl/authors/754/leopold-loeffler 

http://dzielautracone.gov.pl/en/news/114-the-loveliest-bow-in-polish-painting-delights-once-again-at-the-silesian-museum-in-katowice 

all have info, or point to more info, about this artist (the middle 2 in Polish, again, Chrome can automatically translate – Bing may do better in this case), perhaps in addition to what’s pointed to by the first URL. So far, 2 works by him have been used here. 

http://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2018/10/15?comments=visible 

has the prior work (my comment there included the last 3 artist info URLs).

Again, a larger strip image is shown by clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2135 (February 10, 2019) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment.

“Just get very drunk at the reception and you won’t remember a thing”.

Oh… Say what you will of what may or may not be said here, but I’ll just get lost in the articulate painting of the folds in her dress.

Belatedly, your mother has informed me that she never had “the talk” with you. Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?

Edward was a little miffed about getting married but the ladies forced him,4 against one.he always was a bit afraid of the ladies.

Per James Michener’s “Hawaii,” native royalty actually did marry siblings to ensure exclusively royal blood in their heirs.

“Remember, my dear. Be sure to have him sign over his investments to you and Cousin Bartholomew will take care of the rest.”