Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for March 11, 2019

What ever you do, Herbert, don’t start giving him coffee.

Stay off the Op-Ed page, squirrel, otherwise you’ll be in the streets hoping to get hit.

The news puts Herbert to sleep, but his squirrel buddy fills him in later.

That’s just nuts.

It started with Peanuts but has since progressed to Breaking Cat News.

If you want to send him up a tree, show him “Mallard Fillmore”.

Rocky’s already looking sort of downcast.

Well that’s the end of “bright-eyed and bushy-tailed”.

Rocky’s looking at bull, but it isn’t Winkle!

He should have started with easy news first.

He’s reading the crop report, of course.

Neither man nor beast can survive on a steady diet of hard news.

That’s it in a nutshell.

He’s paper trained Rocky to do his business on all the stories about politics.

If he wasn’t squirrelly before, he will be soon.

Oh nuts!

As he reads, he shakes his head and mutters, “And they call me a squirrel?”

Better than ‘fake peanuts’, I suppose…

Next he’ll want to use your computer, so he can post on Chitter…

It used to be Peanuts but now he reads Ballard Street.

He likes the political news because of all the nuts in Washington.

All his 401(k) money is invested in Planters.

Herbert is already asleep.. and the squirrel is looking sleepy as well.. Wonder which newspaper it is? Boring obviously.

Hard news???? All it is about is how bad the President is. You know, the one that has turned this Country around from plunging into catastrophe to a future. The Media sucks.

I enjoyed sharing burritos with a squirrel. While we sat with the ducks he would sometimes share comments of people as they passed.

Even the squirrel recognizes the nuttiest news.

Is it just me or does that squirrel look depressed?