Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 13, 2019

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    BE THIS GUY  over 5 years ago

    And then he ate the delivery guy.

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    SonicFan91  over 5 years ago

    STEVE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING PUTTING A TIMMY FAILURE CHARECTER (Total the polar bear) IN PEARLS

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    juncarlo  over 5 years ago

    Well, bears are omnivorous, so pigs and goats are not discarded as its food.

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    NeilCopeland  over 5 years ago

    Just finished reading all the Pearls Before Swine Strips. Less of an ordeal than Atlas Shrugged.

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    Templo S.U.D.  over 5 years ago

    oh, the bears’ll find a way, Pig

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    sirbadger  over 5 years ago

    Maybe seals own Fox News and are promoting global warming.

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    chris_weaver  over 5 years ago

    And if it doesn’t make it to the North Pole within 30 minutes, it’s FREE!

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    Gent  over 5 years ago

    The only solution for all this is that we bears need to take over the world from hyoomans!

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    Johnny Q Premium Member over 5 years ago

    Camille Paglia claimed that global warming doesn’t matter because polar bears can swim. (Poseur!)

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    Gent  over 5 years ago

    The white walkers all died from global warming. And the dragons all got killed by heat sensing missiles. Don’t cha love happy endings?

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    jvn  over 5 years ago

    Better seals, better pizza. Papa John’s.

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    28811967  over 5 years ago

    Everywhere in the Arctic circles, seals are celebrating.

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    santa72404  over 5 years ago

    That’s a rather comfy looking coach to eat the delivery guy on.

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    Troglodyte  over 5 years ago

    Who said their fate is sealed?

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    JasonBall  over 5 years ago

    So happy Stephan’s book (Timmy Failure) is getting adapted as a Disney movie next year!!

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    Breadboard  over 5 years ago

    Grub Hub fee $5,000 …. Pizza $10 …… Croc Power !

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    Geophyzz  over 5 years ago

    I’ve told this tale before, in answer to how the polar bears will survive; but its worth repeating. My neighbor, a Canadian military pilot, relates that whenever a runway light burns out in one of the northern territories, the polar bears will lie in in the snow nearby, waiting for a maintenance worker; and they always cover their black nose a paw.

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    Arianne  over 5 years ago

    Let them eat pizza.

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    Zebrastripes  over 5 years ago

    The ICE is melting at an alarming rate! The polar bears are struggling for food! The glaciers are made up of layers from each age. Each layer, there are embedded diseases, germs, plague matter. When those layers melt, what do you think will happen to all the bugs, germs, diseases? It will go into the lakes, oceans, air, streams, and once again we will have pandemics all over the world…..think about it! Educate, and research! Why are GOP and FOX cults nonbelievers in science when we have the Evidence? DUH

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    mommadillo  over 5 years ago

    Hmmm. 43 comments already and it’s only six AM. Looks like you hit a nerve with this one, Pastis. Never a good idea to poke the bear.

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    rmercer Premium Member over 5 years ago

    Sorry but this isn’t the least bit funny. At my local zoo (Columbus OH) there is an excellent polar bear exhibit, and a sign that says “When the polar ice is gone, the polar bears will also be gone.”

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    DonnaSimmons  over 5 years ago

    IOW… They’ll adapt.

    (For the sake of argument I’m assuming the polar bear population is NOT exploding as it currently is.)

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    garysmigs  over 5 years ago

    …and in 1922’s Global Warming’s version the seals were the critters dying off! The ice melt, rapid sea rise, flooded cities were ALL the same and didn’t happen then either!

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    favm  over 5 years ago

    The truth: Left-CNN; Right-FOX. The real truth: Somewhere in between? Try not being a fanatic and I am sure you will find it.

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    ronhagg  over 5 years ago

    wish I could find this funny. :-(

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    poppacapsmokeblower  over 5 years ago

    Wouldn’t the polar bear order the large pizza with an extra large deliverer?

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    BrentskiL  over 5 years ago

    TRUE STORY… more Polar bears than ever.

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    Radish the wordsmith  over 5 years ago

    Researchers agree that polar bears represent a growing threat to Inuit communities, but say that is because climate change has pushed them closer to human settlements – not because the bear population is growing.

    “There seems to be a divergence between scientists and Inuit on the threat that climate change poses to this species,” said Andrew Derocher, a polar bear researcher at the University of Alberta.

    Scientists and conservation groups have warned that a warming climate has reduced sea ice and the availability of prey, pushing bears on to the mainland – and closer to humans.

    But Inuit argue their own observations are often ignored, and the new report highlights a growing tension between scientific research and Inuit knowledge based on from thousands of years of living in the region.

    “We know what we are doing, and western science and modelling has become too dominant,” wrote the Kitikmeot regional wildlife board as part of its submission to the report.

    “Our knowledge, is not the same as thousands of years ago. If your life depended on it, you’d better know what the ice condition is,” said Gabriel Nirlungayuk, an Inuk hunter of Rankin Inlet. “Our knowledge has always evolved.”

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/nov/13/polar-bear-numbers-canadian-arctic-inuit-controversial-report

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    Phydeux  over 5 years ago

    Gotta go with the floe.

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    Radish the wordsmith  over 5 years ago

    Call Grub Hub, you get a better variety.

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    geekboy_x  over 5 years ago

    The thermal maximum of the Holocene has now been passed, at least in areas of the arctic where reconstruction of the historical record of our current epoch is possible. There is a small chance that these areas may NOT be representative of the overall geoclime of the arctic. If they are representative, however, the arctic is now – probably irreversibly – broken.

    https://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-019-09622-y

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    Flatlander, purveyor of fine covfefe  over 5 years ago

    take a look yourself

    https://nunatsiaq.com/stories/article/google-offers-a-virtual-tour-of-nunavuts-devon-island/

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    Ermine Notyours  over 5 years ago

    “…With lots of anchovies.”

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    Chris Sherlock  over 5 years ago

    Seems like he could just get a frozen pizza.

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    Banjo Gordy Premium Member over 5 years ago

    I know this is a serious issue…but somehow the image of Thorton in Sherman’s Lagoon comes to mind.

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    gileshead  over 5 years ago

    That’s Trump’s solution. This dude is a Republican, I swear!

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    Ginny Premium Member over 5 years ago

    If it were only that simple.

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    animeraider Premium Member over 5 years ago

    Oh come on Stephen, Domino’s won’t even deliver to my neighborhood in San Francisco, let alone a melting ice sheet.

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    Future Reuben Recipient  over 5 years ago

    so you want no pizza, just the pepperoni??

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    mauser7  over 5 years ago

    And since the seals are mostly taken by the bear IN THE WATER, but eaten on the ice flows, I don’t see a big problem.

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    mrrescueguy51  over 5 years ago

    Total!!!!

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    BOSFLASH  over 5 years ago

    The future protective provenance of polar bears foreseen.

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    twtbr501  over 5 years ago

    Things are pretty bad when you have to order that $hit.

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    Sisyphos  over 5 years ago

    No seals to eat, but plenty of smartphones for ordering pizza delivery? Ain’t technology grand?!

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    Alien-X  over 5 years ago

    They’re all gonna evolve into Pizzly Bears.

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    Daeder  over 5 years ago

    That’s not what they do.

    Polar bears order anchovy pizza, which attracts seals. Then when the seals are drawn out by the smell of anchovy pizza, they strike!

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    William McCracken  over 5 years ago

    https://nsidc.org/cryosphere/quickfacts/icesheets.html

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    DarthRevan  over 5 years ago

    Poor Total.

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    shelly.lusk  over 5 years ago

    Generally I’m on board with Pastis. But the videos of starving bears has made it almost impossible to watch nature shows. So, in answer to pig, they aren’t going to survive.

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    phetus  over 5 years ago

    Address?

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    Love2laugh  about 5 years ago

    Hey, is that Total? :O

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    rat’s insurance counselor   about 5 years ago

    shoulda gotten sausage

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