Loose Parts by Dave Blazek for May 18, 2019

or senior citizens.

And will it still have an expiration date?

A co-worker took a flight from NY to Chicago right after “child proof caps” came out. He had a bottle of aspirin in his suitcase that had one of the new caps. The bottle was open when he unpacked his bag.

I heard the deceased was a real pill.

Do NOT flush expired pharmacists down the toilet. They contaminate the water supply.

Caution, bury only as directed. Consult your mortician if you experience any signs of life.

Epitaph: “No more refills.”

Now that is a great idea! I hate open caskets! I’m gonna get cremated & scattered in Lake Pontchartrain & the Mediterranean Sea!!!

It’s not just medicines that come in adult-proof packaging. There are a lot of products that I come in what I call “poker packaging because it takes jacks or better to open.” The products cannot be accessed without the aid of some sort of weapon: C-4 explosives in some cases.

I am tempted to send some to the CEO of the company and ask him/her to open the package with their bare hands.

How fitting.

The mourners all receive counseling about possible side effects.

It was a vial death.

The deceased was not very popular. Most people could only take him in small doses.

ONLY Children will be able to open the Casket.