Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for March 22, 2025

Pour some Fresca in your pants Gene, it’ll pick you right up.

They died a long time ago.

Tootsie is hoping to make contact with the calf muscles in Gene’s slacks.

Gene better hurry up. He doesn’t appear long for this world.

Sometimes it only takes a spark.

This time, he’s hoping a sparkler will do it.

Maybe the sparkler will also make the pleasure last a little bit longer.

/// Gene thought booze would help mask any pain

while inserting a probe in his brain.

The cone hat is his guide

to burn sparklers inside

through his skull. Gene, of course, is insane.

There was a young fellow called Gene,

Who was moody since being a teen.

“Endorphins are fine,

But they’re no friends of mine,

Nor are sharks cos they’re vicious and mean!"

Gene greatly misses being fun and jolly

Things have gone awry with his wife Molly.

The spark has gone out in their marriage,

They each the other tend to disparage.

.

Whereas Gene once was lots of laughs,

It seems he cannot avoid making gaffes.

Any joke that he tries to make somehow

Seems to explode and burn an eyebrow.

.

The thrill is gone, Molly feels glum, too —

The heat once they felt has gone up through the flue.

The mutual white-hot passion they shared

Has fizzled out whereas once it brightly flared.

.

Thus Gene intends to take a chance

And take his wife out to a dinner dance,

In hope that after, fireworks that night

Light up their love and passion re-ignite!

When you find them let me know where to look, would you, Gene?

Tragically, Gene was born without any so this may take a while.

I wish you luck with that Gene.

They used to call him Gene Jean, The Dancing Machine.

Now, he’s simply Mean Gene, with No Humor Seen!

The dog looks disapproving.

I think he needs help.

Soo, in other words… Gene Therapy.

(≖_ʖ ≖)

He’s got the blue Gene blues.

Good morning Balladeers!

If you can’t activate your pleasure receptors by playing with your dog, then it’s hopeless.

If Gene had even a spark of intelligence, it might work.

if this doesn’t work, he’ll go in the back yard and jump in the gene pool…

Gene’s genealogy shows he comes from a long line of blue Genes.

Good evening, Ballard Dears!

By shoving a sparkler up his nose? Wrong approach, Gene.