Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for March 23, 2025

They are so much alike that no one on Ballard St. can tell them apart.

That explains Ted’s muffin top.

Good morning, Ballard Dears!

It’s a good thing it’s a muffin instead of Muffin.

Then there’s the Ferguson’s driveway. It’s steep… the Halloway’s corner is overgrown. Stepping on weeds is tiring… The Butlers are painting, so the smell… one muffin left so we might as well eat it. And neither can fathom why they gain weight on their walks.

/// Alfred Hitchcock would know why they’re stuffin’

both their mouths with a stale old half-muffin.

The street must be crossed,

or the trail will be lost,

but the muffin is just a McGuffin.

On your mark! … Get set! …

If it’s a bran muffin, keep Reggie off my lawn.

Do you know the muffin man,

The muffin man and his dog,

As along they slowly slog

Along the Ballard Street

.

Sure, I know the muffin man,

Whose name is Ted,

Can hardly get up out of bed

And cross the Ballard Street

.

I know that the muffin man

Is almost always led

By his dog, Reg that is well-bred

To cross the Ballard Street

.

It seems to us the muffin man

Fast runs out of energy,

And shares a muffin with Reggie

To safely cross the Ballard street

.

We always cheer the muffin man,

Who gets across the street okay

And so continues on his way

Alongside Ballard Street

There was a young fellow called Ted,

Who faced local traffic with dread.

So him and young Reg,

Ate muffins and veg,

Now they leap over traffic instead!

Its early. My first thought – Muffin was their cat.

It’s 7:05 on Sunday morning. I am finding that black coffee is far more important than any muffin. Muffins? Nah!

Don’t reach into the wrong bag when you’re going for a muffin.

Ted and Reggie could have a point – those “walk” signals don’t last very long!

what’s in that bag hes holding? Muffins or….Ewwww

I don’t want to know.

Ted views traffic with suspicion.

Reg relies on intuition.

One, two three, let’s go! Half-way there, “Oh, no!”

What they needed? Precognition…

- – - – -

BTW, Limericks over on “Arlo and Janis”…

R.I.P. Muffin, you were a great cat.

A man and his dog both sharing the days exploits.

Good morning Balladeers!

If it’s a bran muffin, he’ll need to sprint home to reach the bathroom.

That’s good thinking, boys. Safety first.

if those are bran muffins they’ll really have to sprint…

What are they crossing, a 4 lane highway with a divider?