Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for March 26, 2025

I have to keep a checkbook just for the Gardner.

/// When he paid monthly bills, Kyle reacted

very badly to being distracted.

His focus would blur

if “loose talk” should occur,

and by mischief adversely impacted.

Every one on Ballard St. knows that you have to beware of Loose Talk Higgindorf and his wife Shenanigans.

The last time Kyle was thus distracted

The payment amount that was extracted

From the Regional Reserve Bank

Caused the local Economy to tank

And his credit line adversely impacted

.

He had mislaid his reading eyeglasses

And the DOGE cost cutting j@ck@asses

Had so thinned out oversight purview

That a trillion dollar payment went through

And correction was slow as molasses

There was a young fellow called Kyle,

Who kept all his payments on file,

There wasn’t much doubt,

He had more going out,

That’s the price for a month on the tiles.

Retired NHL defenseman, Kyle, had a hard time giving up checking.

Stay focused, Kyle!

I’m not quite that disciplined, but I limit myself to one shenanigan a day. I don’t tighten my talk all the way down, but it’s not too loose.

Loose Lips Sink Ships.

I avoid shenanigans, but I do enjoy some good folderol and monkey business.

“No battle plans, it wasn’t that raw.

It’s the newsman that sticks in my craw.

Pete Hegseth is fine! He is one of mine!

Who cares that we all broke the law?"

Kyle always adds the words ‘sexual favors’ on the bottom of checks to the utility company.

I’m not into loose talk myself, but shenanigans?? Count me in!!

Kyle is one of the few people that like to stay focused on paying bills.

Good evening Balladeers!

kyle is a closet hanky pankyist…