Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 28, 2019

Also, no knowledge of rules regarding the privacy of patients.

Just like my doctor said thirty years ago when i was 13

I hear the roast beef is to die for.

“You’re gonna die” is about the most accurate statement you can make to any human being in any situation.

Had one of those when I was about 19….

too young to imagine that a deity…. I mean a doctor…. could be inept.

Lived with his dismal predictions till I realised they were ten or twenty years past due, and not about to occur.

Accidentally picked another one, for a whole different problem, about two years ago… rude, insulting…

and a needlessly cold doomsayer.

Knew enough by then to say “Buh bye.”

Amazing how much better health you can be in, just by looking through the eyes of a different doctor.

Doctors Without Scruples is, at long last, the center stone of Trump’s long promised health care plan. We fleece while you sleep.

How ’bout “Doctors Without 15 Minute Time Limits On Examinations” or “Doctors Who Know Your Name And Condition(s)” instead?

As students, docs spend so much time booking and doing insane hours on clinic rotations, that many never have time to learn interpersonal skills like the rest of us did while drinking beer with friends in our college or trade school years.

Leave that Doctor with Larry Croc for a week ;-) … Croc Power!

The doctor hardly needed to run a test in order to arrive at that diagnosis.

How did that guy pass medical school?

Most doctors seem to consider themselves “God’s Little Brother”.

And, Rat, has nothing to say in today’s strip. How very rare

Founding member, Gregory House.

First of all, don’t bother a doctor when he is on his own free time about your health. Instead ask him about his latest vacation to Fiji, Tahiti, Hawaii, etc.

He’s also a member of Doctors Without Limits. “Bend over and cough.” “Again.”

When my husband’s original oncologist said there was nothing more he could do except make him comfortable, we switched doctors. New treatment stopped the growth, at least for now.

Actually, my doctor is terrific. It’s big pharma and the medical insurance companies that are evil.

I was going to say that Vulcans make good doctors until he said the part about beef – maybe one of Sheldon Cooper’s relatives?

I read that Best Buy is getting into health care. "Well, Mr. Lou…you have 6 months to live. I’m going to prescribe a wide screen tv to help you pass the time. Don’t worry, your health insurance will pay for it.

I’ve got one now! An ENT – just like one I had 10 years ago! Wonder if all of them in that field have the same attitude…

However, he is upbeat in his own way. Also, he did not urge the guy to try it very soon.

I hear that organization of doctors who used to rent out rooms of their houses does a good job…Doctors without Boarders.

My wife recently had a hip replaced. The surgeon is apparently a double whiz in the OR (both excellent and quick), but his bedside manner sometimes rises all the way up to “impersonal and abrupt.” He doesn’t spread woe (or joy), though, just cuts (ha!) straight to the business at hand and then disappears without a word. Fortunately, he found a good office manager who sees to it that his assistants are personable.

Well, Doctor Dan is right. The guy is gonna die…. someday. Nobody has yet created the immortality pill so we’re all going to die someday.

Doctor Dan is a redhead. That goes far to explaining his Bedside Manner….

I’ve always wondered about the doctors who were at the bottom of their class. What those from Hudson High called the “class goat”.

Better than Doctors without Boundaries

“Well your tests indicate that you have only five to live.” “OMG! What? Five years? five days!?” “Four… Three…”