Close to Home by John McPherson for December 21, 2019

Eating that much at one time sure puts a strain on the reindeer.

Show-off!

He’s about as non-anonymous as you can get!

And you’ll do it again, won’t you?

Sounds like a cry for help..no one put out any coffee to go with those cookies.

Do you know why Santa never had children? He only comes once a year and it’s down the chimney.

And all of those cookies gave Santa explosive diarrhea which propelled him around the world!

“You win, dude! None of us can compete with that. But thanks for making everyone else feel better about themselves.”

How many nights a year do you do that? Only 1!? You are a binge eater. A mega Eater eats that way every day.

Mega Eaters Anonymous typically gets a large turnout! I heard at one time they were going to merge with Alcoholics Anonymous and call it Alcoholics Enormous but it didn’t quite fly!

The new world record!

Considering that the world population is 7.5 billion and the average family size is 4.5, what happened in the other 1,662,423,655 households, cakes, buns or unbelievers?

Richard Watterson: That’s not a challenge! That’s Tuesday!

I kinda think Santa might have shared those cookies with Bleeb and the reindeer. He is a very giving soul.

…and then there was the milk! Sooooo much milk!

Next stop: Milkaholics Anonymous (I udder to think…)

Is that your record?

Annual fill up.

All together with no enthusiasm: “Hi Santa…”

I hope none were left by naughty kids that used laxative instead of chocolate…

You go to those meetings to confess, not brag.

How many gallons of milk were involved? As an aside, this Santa would prefer a wee dram of single malt Scotch accompanied by a fine seegar.