B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart for December 10, 2019

John, it’s your passenger, the dookie bird, always wanting a ride, dragging you everywhere. That’s your excuse.

Shell shock..

“What’s your excuse?”

Well how about the fact that no one has invented “turtle soup,” yet? ;)

Cartying your house around on your back can be tiring.

“What’s my excuse?”

“You have to carry your condo around everywhere.”

The turtle is simply wise.

the fact that you are carrying your home and protection on your back all the time!

You were born to roam in slow motion…..portable housing is rare these days!

Doctor suggested I lose 10 pounds, which didn’t seem too bad to me. He advised me to pick up two 5 pound bags of four or sugar at the grocery store and carry them around for a couple minutes – wow – what a lesson.

…95% of your time is spent resting."

And the rest of your time….

Both of those animals have lifespans of over 100. Not moving too much was/is a big help.

Hey! Over nine hours and no fights over Kleiber’s law!

…or mine?

Isn’t 95% of his time actually spent eating in order to maintain his size.

IT’S TRUMP’S FAULT!

How about eating time?

Illogical. The hollow bones and air sacs make that big fella lighter than if he were a mammal. Why they can get so much larger than any terrestrial mammals ever could. And this is a sure fire way to die from starvation.