Tarzan by Edgar Rice Burroughs for April 21, 2020

Now we say goodbye to Lubbers (RIP). From now on, the illustrations are Celardo’s.

The Jungle is my home.

Jane is my wife.

Cheetah is my chimp.

You is my nothing.

Bye bye, Betty.

She’ll be dreaming of Tarzan for weeks. Tarzan will be dreaming of…of…well, we don’t know what Tarzan dreams about. Unfortunately, Betty can’t tell anyone about her adventure since no one would believe her. “Insect men? A half naked guy rescuing you? Right Betty. Dream on!”

Betty goes back to Montauk or wherever and resumes her life. She tells a wild story to her grandkids in 1995 who decide old granny has dementia.

Tarzan: If I truly know the jungle? Dude, you think I work in an office cubicle dressed like this?

he didn’t mention that he’s already married?

Stranger has a voice with tones like Jafar, from Aladdin. The animated version, not the horrible Will Smith version.

No one believes her wild stories until she meets a man named Edgar. He loves her stories. He’s bored at work so he starts writing them down, then realizes he needs an origin story so he invents one for Tarzan, starting with his parents sailing for Africa.

That was a little more than a “hint” toward romance.

“I’m sorry Betty, but I’m ALREADY MARRIED.”

Well I didn’t really mean like, you know, I know the jungle. It’s more like I know where the jungle is.

Lord Greystoke ain’t fallin’ for that line of elephant s4%t!

Ah so, Chinese opium smoker makes Tarzan an offer he cannot refuse……………..