Close to Home by John McPherson for March 31, 2020

Bleeb is having a lot of fun hanging out in the pool.

Old and sly beats young and cute every time.

The belly button ting doesn’t bother me, probably because it is normally covered. On the other hand I cannot stand a nose ring. But worse to me than the nose ring are those who are trying to stretch the hole in their earlobe to compete with the African tribes who have been doing that for hundreds of years.

And if dad in his speedo doesn’t work mom will put on her thong bikini and go out there too!

If you’re wondering: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoURyQLqZ7o

OH well, they often call him Speedo, but his real name is Mister Earl.

Alright, alright! I’ll take it out! Don’t make my friends go blind, over jewelry, for crying out loud!

As a guy, I say go for it anyway Dad. You know you want to.

I saw a clerk at a store the other day with the holes left from piercing removal – particularly the one on one side of her nose. Do those close up and return to normal? The studs (on just one side) look ridiculous in the first place, but the hole certainly didn’t improve her appearance.

Dad jokes or dad shaming, it’s about the same.

After viewing this picture nothing but knee shorts for me

Wait til she wants her genitals pierced. It happens a lot.

Love those tongue piercings and how they now talk like they have marbles in their mouth. Let’s not even get into tattoos.

“But Dad!!!! All the other kids have piercings!”“Did you just call me ‘BUTT’ Dad?!”

“Dirty pool, old man” … Gomez Adams

Parents have the power to embarrass. Use it sparingly, but well.

Bleeb doin’ the back stroke.

He’ll probably do it anyway.

I once saw a guy in the mall with a chain from nose to ear attached to loops. He was looking so tough in his leather outfit. I was staring. He asked in tough guy voice what I was looking at. I replied " that would come in handy as a hand hold in a fight. "

Do what your mom says Melissa!!!

There are not many places that won’t hire you because you don’t have tattoos and piercings and holes in your ears.

I worked for Walmart when Sam Walton was still alive. He wouldn’t allow visible tattoos or wild hair and makeup. Today, is seems, anything goes.

That little bribe will work, no doubt. If it doesn’t then mom will wear it.

If he goes out there like that, he better bring barf bags.

That should definitely do it!

Her friends can already see him through the glass door.

Melissa, your friends are leering at dad. It would appear you’ve been outvoted.