F Minus by Tony Carrillo for April 11, 2020

Kitties don’t need no stinkin’ skills!!

Okay, Tibbles, now’s your chance to show him what you can do with a hairball!

I can detect sunbeams.

Shredding the cushions if not accepted, comes to mind…

Silly human, the cat owns all in that house!

For a start he can keep the mice at bay.

“Does shredding the sofa they were on into a unsightly pile of garbage unfit even to put on your front porch count?”

“I’ll bring you presents. Some of them might even be dead.”

I Bet the dog told him to say that!

I can lick my whole body.

Not to nitpick, and maybe it i just me, but I think this is a “blanket fort.”

Anyone read an obscure children’s story “Jenny Linski and the Cat Club”?

I’ve heard a couple people on the radio mention that they had just emerged from their kids’ pillow fort to do a show.

Cat’s skill: I can survive in the wild with nothing. Cats are probably the ultimate hunters.

Cat’s skill #2: Purring naps on laps.

“I can mask the smell of your body odor.”

Cats are similar enough to tigers which qualifies them for membership in G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid O Slimey girlS @ Calvin & Hobbs)

And how long do you think your pillow fort will last if you don’t let the cat in?

Pillow Fort is a safer place to be than Fort Pillow was!

“I’m adorable and this picture could go viral with the right caption.”“Congratulations, you’re in!”