That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for April 02, 2020

“So, Josephine gets the chateau in Bordeaux and I can see the kids every other weekend if I’m not off conquering Europe.”

“Here’s your receipt sir. Please go on lime and fill out the survey for a chance to win a $100 gift card.”

“I send the entire army to Costco and this is all the toilet paper you can come up with?”

Do you see? Do you see? I am writing these field orders without even looking at the paper. Can any of you do that? This is why I am the Emperor and you are all nothing more than generals and field marshals. Soon I shall arise from this chair and thumb my nose in your general direction.

“Able was I ere…umm, Excellency, I think Wellington is expecting something a bit more conciliatory than a palindrome.”

Take this list and deliver it pronto. If Santa knows what’s good for him, he won’t check it twice.

I’ll have the same.

I have a beef with Wellington, and I would love to give him the boot. Is the place we are meeting near the water? I have a weak bladder; is there a loo there? I’ll need relief!

in later years bonaparte came to regret signing away the rights to they’re coming to take me away…

“I’m only giving you a 15% tip, service wasn’t that good and the Beef Wellington was under cooked.”

You get 4 sheets of toilet paper. That’s it.

“Nuts”, What is this “Nuts”?

Filling out that 1040 in the early days could be a bit**.

“Here general. You’ve done so well that as a reward,you can have South America. “

I have enough! I decree all paper from this point on will be 8.5" X 11".

This, Messieurs, is the funniest joke ever written. I need volunteers to translate it into the languages of our enemies so we may weaken them with laughter.

… and get it right this time you fool, I can still taste the guano from the last time!

Little feet; little hands

Since you have your walking boots on, here are your walking papers.

“Press hard, you’re making three copies.”

In a roomful of epaulets /where the braid is as thick as it gets / Le Petit Empereur/ proclaims, de rigeur / no yoga pants, baggies, or sweats !

The French Army surrendering to themselves and looking good doing it.

" This is the list of all my dress uniforms I left at the dry cleaners. See if they can’t find at least one of them! "

Everybody line up and count off. Anybody past nine stand outside the windows and look in.

Napoléon signs his abdication at Fontainebleau 11 April 1814: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Bouchot_-_Napol%C3%A9on_signe_son_abdication_%C3%A0_Fontainebleau_4_avril_1814.jpg 

(best viewed by Google Chrome, with Google Translate added to chrome://extensions, which can automatically translate most pages as necessary) has info and links that point to more info about this painting, actually completed by Gaetano Ferri (referred to as the artist here). To see the page where it’s described by the first References link, search for Gaetano there (unfortunately, the website generates a new URL for the found object with each search, so I can’t point to a static URL).

https://www.galleriarecta.it/autore/ferri-gaetano/ 

http://www.treccani.it/enciclopedia/gaetano-ferri_(Dizionario-Biografico)/ 

both have info about this artist (again, Chrome can translate as necessary), perhaps in addition to what’s pointed to by the title URL (more about the artist Mr. Melcher attributed this to is pointed to there). First work by him used here.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2418 (April 1, 2020) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment.

Mexican? Guess he is tired of French food?

“Yes, sire. That is quite a provocative drawing of Wellington and the Queen of England, but I don’t think the King will take it as proof.”

Every Wednesday evening in the Officer’s Mess, young Lt. Lephrog did caricatures of his regiment. :>)

new picture at gay men’s dressing like military party. wins the prize

Here! I’m leaving! So there!

“Who else wants a two-day pass?”