Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for May 28, 2020

Satanism and profanity? What kind of R rated bedtime story is Calvin expecting?

when was the last time Calvin ever read in bed before retiring for the night? I’d say never

HA -HA -HA !

Sorry Calvin. You’re not old enough for Stephen King’s books.

Was Calvin expecting a PG-13 bedtime story?

Never mind, Calvin. If you go to a decent school, you will soon be reading Shakespeare. No car chases, but plenty of the other stuff. The violence doesn’t use guns, though.

Does Calvin even realize he’s equipped with some lewd parts?

I’m surprised Calvin even knows some of those words.

You’re not supposed to like it, its to put you to sleep.

Let the nightmares begin…..

A future death metal fan

That’s the point, Calvin. It’s a story to put you to sleep.

Two kids push an old woman into an oven. Young woman lives in a house with 7 men. Witchcraft convert mice and pumpkins into coach and horses.

What’s not to like?

Calvin should probably get a doctor

Kid’s got issues.

And there we have it – the American public attitudes!

I bet there are no explosions either.

No tigers either, Calvin will definitely won’t like it.

Dad could respond with, “What makes you think I’ll let you live through the night?”

This sounds like my kind of story.

Sorry Calvin only approved child books.

“Psst, ask him if it has any tigers in it… And if it doesn’t, tell him you want him to read ‘The Fast and the Furriest’…”

Something tells me that Calvin would LOVE “Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated.”

Let me guess, boring Dad has a book on how to watch the grass grow…C’mon Mutants, laser cannons & space battles…..SHEESH

I always found it strange when Calvin expressed interest in something lewd, given his usual attitude toward girls.

“Dad, who is Hugh Hefner?”

It has got moral. At this age, this is what you’d need to face the world tomorrow.

Just show him a Quentin Tarantino movie, Dad, and save yourself the trouble!

Don’t worry Calvin, it has witches.

No weapons, no violence, no satanism, mo profanity, no lewd parts… sure dad is not reading the Bible

Parents have a conspiracy to read somnolence-inducing and calming stories at bedtime. You know, where the slow silent sheep slide simply through the susurrous willows seeking sleep. Of course kids don’t want to hear that: They’re actively fighting sleep time.

And here I always thought Calvin’s parent were better at managing his media exposure.

Read Bible stories to him. Incest, a woman driving a tent peg into a man’s skull, David cutting off Goliath’s head and waving it around, a guy getting God to send bears to kill a bunch of kids after the kid’s make fun of him for being bald, mothers eating their own children. These great, gory stories and more and found throughout the Bible. Calvin would love ‘em. There’s a few of these stories and more listed here: https://www.ranker.com/list/creepy-gory-bible-scenes/jacob-shelton

What about Huey Balooie the Hamster (can’t quite remember the name)

Goodness me Calvin

If he reads Grimm’s Fairy Tales (especially if he can find the more original versions), he’ll get lots of violence at least.