Basic Instructions by Scott Meyer for May 01, 2020

The first advertising for a place (that I know of) was when the explorers named that place “Greenland”. “The Sunshine State” is better because it’s true. Just nowhere near as pleasant as they want you to think.

Sunshine costs me $3000 at the skin doctor every year I go outside.

Shark swarms!

(I read the small print at the bottom of the cartoon.)

It’s even worse than that.

STAY OUT!

GO AWAY!!

Signed, A Florida Native

(darned Yankees never listen…)

Once in Louisiana a native said “A Yankees someone from the north. A d##n Yankee is a northerner who stays.”

Florida: Happily providing 85% of Dave Barry’s best material.

Florida, land of scrub pine, sand, and fire ants.

Florida is god’s waiting room said Gov. DeSantis.

Florida: America’s Australia!

I grew up in Florida. My friends who are still there frequently ask me how I can stand the cold. I can stand the cold way better than I could stand the the deadly flora and fauna, hurricanes, insane politics, snow birds and my brother.

Now add sea level rise to some FL cities’ woes. But I guess everywhere is home to someone.

Florida, a state that gets 4.5 times as much subsistence from the Federal government as it contributes to the federal government. One of the top 5 welfare states in the country because, you know, Red States are so well managed.

I’m with Scott, don’t like Florida much. Won’t have to worry about it in a few years anyway.

Why is he “dissing” the Florida State Bird in the first panel?

Yeah, we’ve been through hurricanes and spring is almost always a drought, we have way more paved roads than beaches, mosquitoes are plentiful, I have to spend about two hours a day to care for my banana, papaya and mango trees, tourists and snowbirds clog our highways, need air conditioning 300 days of the year, roads always in need of repair, rockets going up all the time rattling the windows, aphids, hornworms and a thousand other bugs eating our tomatoes, squirrels eating our bananas, mangoes, and limes, gators killing our pets…please stay away. You may end up being a gator feast. Don’t come here!!!

Another interesting aspect to Florida is that every single time money ever changes hands, one of the two parties to the transaction is getting swindled.

This came out the same year that the Florida Man meme was popularized.

Too good.

There are good reasons “Florida Man” has been a meme for years.

have you been contacted yet by the legal department of the Florida Tourist Council?