Close to Home by John McPherson for July 20, 2020

One look at her toothy grin would be enough to scare me off. Plus her pushing a tank of water full of leeches and a little alien wouldn’t help.

Ironically, there are medical uses for leeches in modern medicine

Anybody that’s hard up enough to accept leech therapy is definitely a hypochondriac.

And Bleeb better watch out, since one short stint with one of those leeches could drain his alien blood dry. We don’t want any dried-out aliens to deal with.

Of course when he goes to the Patsnozzles birthday party he can rehydrate on some good old IPA’s.

I heard that some places do use leeches to drain off blood from sutures.

Ewww, that really sucks.

One’s named Dr. Phil and another is Dr. Oz and still another Dr. Laura!!

You know you’re sick when your willing to go to the hospital. You know your not too sick if you can make it through all the paper work.

Hah, suckers.

Bleeb found a date!

So that’s what nurses do all day long. Now I know.

Oh no! Bleeb is sleeping with the leeches!

Leeches are used to this day for atraumatic removal of hematomas. They are safe to use and have even been used in Plastic Surgery.

Leeches and maggots are used regularly. They are grown in labs for human use and kept sterile that way until they are ready for use: https://mountainview-hospital.com/about/newsroom/the-healing-power-of-leeches-and-maggots-in-hospitals

Obamacare 2.0

“Hypochondriac!?! I am not sorry that I’m here! I just happen to be all faklempt, and I’ve developed Shpilkis in my Genechtagazoink! If the Doctor would just see me now, I could be at home already, recovering nicely, thank you very much! Pssssh, a hypochondriac she says! In a frogs eye, I says! Talk amongst yourselves.”

The acupuncture needles should also clear out a few.

Great one John!

That’s not a very nice thing to say about Bleeb.

I would rather have leaches than many, probably most medical procedures — if both were equally effective.

Those wouldn’t be the Neptunian Space Leeches that Millie is referring to in today’s Ozy & Millie per chance?

Little politicians in a tank I see

She’s also flushing profit margin.