FoxTrot Classics by Bill Amend for September 16, 2020

yikes

A consultant is someone who takes your watch away to tell you what time it is. (Yes, I know it’s an oldie…most people use their cell phone clocks nowadays.)

Efficiency experts do not exist. They are simply that, know-it-all busy body you groan at when you see them coming.

You could save money by forgetting about the extra keyboards, and just lay off half the staff, and you’d still increase productivity. In fact, you might even increase it.

maybe she could them to pedal + generate electricity

It’s an epidemic, lady!

Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish, you feed him for a lifetime. If all you do is talk to him about a fish, you can charge in a fortune in consultant fees.

This story arc would be very funny if I didn’t know this woman in real life…

I have a hard enough time context switching. Simultaneous multitasking is a recipe for insanity.

I get rid of her so fast.

As an ethical efficiency consultant, she should inform her client that her fees cost more than the inefficiencies that she has found.

can that recommendation be used as grounds to dismiss her for gross incompetence? Or better yet sue her for fraud?

It makes sense that she would propose using ones feet to type. After all she has the face of a prehensile monkey.

Someone may have commented on this already but this woman looks like she’s wearing a bad wig with her own hair showing through at the bottom and also might be a man (possibly a regular company employee) pretending to be a female efficiency expert for some reason.

“I like to con people and I like to insult people. I think I’ll be a consultant.”

She had the wrong idea. People are not coordinated enough to type with their feet and hands at the same time. However they be trained to pedal at the same time and thus produce electricity