Strange Brew by John Deering for September 05, 2020

Teaching Physics to a Dog

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOhrBrExOU0&ab_channel=MichaelKalm

Most dogs’ vocabulary isn’t up to the task. But then I’ve never been able to have that kind of discussion with a UFO driver either.

Once upon a time, Somebody say to me (This is a dog talkin’ now) What is your Conceptual Continuity?

Quantum physics. What’s to discuss? It is or it isn’t, maybe.

Everyone talks, nobody listens! Common problem.

Picture if you will, an alien… about to learn what it means to a dog when you bare your teeth at him and his ancestral traits kick into gear and all that high-minded talk goes out the window. You have just entered… The DogFight Zone.

“And then there are squirrels, tennis balls, sniffing other dogs; butts, licking our … Never mind. Enough about me … so what do you guys do for recreation?”

FOR HEAVENS SAKE! What is this creature yapping about?

“Here let me show you how I figure out the flight angle of this frizbe and then jump and catch it.”

Oh, and here I thought when my talk was talking about entanglement, I thought she was talking about getting her leash wrapped around the tree.

I always wanted to be a quantum mechanic, but I was too big.

Two guys in a bar.

First guy. “Speaking of nuclear fission.”

Second guy. “Before you say anything, let me ask you this. You have a cow, a sheep and a horse in the same pasture. When the cow craps it splatters out like a pancake. When the horse craps it looks like hedge apples. When the sheep craps it looks like bunches of grapes. They’re all in the same pasture, eating the same grass but when they poop it all looks different. Why is that?’”

First guy “You know what, I don’t really know.”

Second guy. " Here you don’t know crap and you wanna talk about nuclear fission."

Well you have to keep it simple for us humans.