Close to Home by John McPherson for September 07, 2020

If that’s Bleeb he doesn’t look good. He’s a little green looking maybe it’s Dalcon.

Duck Bleeb!

I tried on my fatigues & jacket years after I left the Army. They would no longer fit me!!!

That’s a semi-automatic uniform top…

I’d close my mouth if I were you, lady.

I can’t even find my uniform! But, know it wouldn’t fit today.

Question, who is going to bend over and pick up the button?

He should tell her she’s way past the mini skirt stage, too. :-)

The old gray mare, she ain’t what she used to be …

For my last day of work at my former employer, I wore the same suit that I wore on the first day, 35 years earlier (even though the dress code is now casual). It fit fine. Now, after 9 months of staying home, job hunting, I can no longer get into it.

That’s okay Sarge, you earned it! And, speaking if things that don’t fit…Gather ‘round kids, it’s time for another mask story from ol’ Uncle Dobie!“So there I was…AGAIN! Just walkin’ along, wearin’ my mask, that doesn’t fit, like our Gubment offishuls told us, when It happened again! I sneezed! This time, the mask shot out, then did a 180, and wound up on the back of my head! The first time I sneezed in one, it shot straight out and then came back and slapped me in the face. I swear, it was like two Daffy Duck cartoons in a row. But I digress… so anyway, this time I got me some o’ them small plastic bags from the convenience store, because they have those holes for handles that actually make good ear loops, and I discovered they don’t come off with a sneeze like them others. So, I’m thinkin’, hey, I finally made a good discovery… and other than feelin’ a leeeeetle woozy… like I’m gonna pass out… I realized… that they’re… working… pretty… goo……………….

With me, the only thing that still fits is the hat.

Their not supposed to fit after a few years out. That’s to remind us we are not what we were. For better or worst, we are not what we were.

Socks are one thing you can depend on. I still wear the same size I did in High School…………the only thing that is the same size.

“That’s ‘still fit LOSER!’ to you, lady!”

If he used to be Sarge in Beetle Bailey, the uniform would be sagging on him.

Swell. Even the hat doesn’t fit.

…thus disproving the aphorism that old soldiers just fade away.

Oh yeah, well see how that prom dress fits.

Ten years ago I pulled out my old Army Greens to take my son’s commissioning oath. The coat wouldn’t button, nor did the collar button on the green shirt, but everything else still fit so I wore Class B with short sleeves.

She’s looking a lil plump herself

Button it, big mouth.

I was not feeling well at all that day, hence my green hue! (it was the mustiness of that old uniform!)