Agnes by Tony Cochran for September 14, 2020

Patty cake probably induces more fear.

The martial art itself doesn’t need to work as long as it sounds tough! /s

I taught myself to use commonly found items as weapons

I call it the Esoteric Art of Broom and Shovel

Words like ‘Glock’ only sound scary because we know what they mean. Once she’s broken a few limbs ‘Fwipple Dipple’ will be words to dread!

If it works, it doesn’t matter what it is called.

Where is the baby bear?

Ecky Thump, of course, was already taken.

Maybe a name like “Guy Pow” would instill more fear, but it would also set the bar pretty high. With “Fwipple Dipple” on the other hand, she can incapacitate her opponent as he is laughing uncontrollably at the name.

It’s already been invented.

waif-fu: A form of movie martial arts where a tiny, pretty girl gives a beating to opponents much bigger than her who in real life would tear her apart.

As Bob Hope and Bing Crosby repeatedly demonstrated in their “Road” movies, patty cake can indeed be an effective weapon, sometimes.

https://youtu.be/LQ-HhecZqjE

My wife and daughters carry concealed weapons. Still require training and practice…. but beat ki-ya! hands down.

Any sane person would run from a threat of fwipple dipple.

Wing Chun.

“Fwipple-Dipple” sounds like the name of an ice cream dessert at Friendly’s, or some nauseatingly cute thing someone would call their puppy. “Don’t mess with me; I know Fwipple-Dipple” is not going to strike fear into anyone’s heart.