Close to Home by John McPherson for November 04, 2020

Not to mention valedictorian.

And Most Likely To Succeed plus Best Looking, Sweet Cheeks.

Actually, he finished at the bottom of his class.

And, he paid top dollar to have his name listed in the Book of Who’s Who in America for High School Students!

Oh! An apparently hand-written resume. How quaint.

His dad was the principal and his mom sat on the BOE

Okay, I’m not going to judge him on that one. I mean really, at least his resume got him as far as an interview.

I bet he holds all the sports records for his school.

No letterman’s jacket?

Gather ‘round kids, its time for another mask story with yer ‘ol Uncle Dobie.

So there I was, walking up to put my ballot in the ballot box. I stepped inside to a VERY long line! Everyone had masks on, so I didn’t recognize anyone. Well kids, it looked just like one of those lined-up domino tricks you see on TV. The line started with me, at the front door, went all the way to the back door, circled around all the way back to the front door, made a right turn, then a left turn, then right into the room where the ballot box is.

That’s when it happened…again! I sneezed! And like before, my mask shot straight out in front of me and smacked the guy ahead of me right in the back of the head and knocked him into the person in front of him! Well, that’s when it started! Everyone in front of me started to topple, just like those dominoes I mentioned, and it went all around the room toppling everyone in line till it reached the ballot box. I tried my hardest to kinda hide so the poll watchers wouldn’t know it was me that started it, and that’s when I saw that the woman at the head of the line, right at the ballot box, was none other than your ‘ol Aunt. But, by the time I recognized her, the woman behind her was falling from the domino effect and knocked your Aunt over. Well, your ‘ol Aunt had just enough velocity to do a straight-armed-Kareem Abdul Jabbar-skyhook and slam dunk her ballot right into the box! Nuthin’ but box! Well, as she was leaving, I noticed your Aunt was getting her “I Voted” button, and I thought…whew, she didn’t see me… I may have gotten away unnoticed!

Afterwards, as I got my button and was leaving, I noticed my button didn’t say: “I Voted”… mine said: “I’m a Moron”

So, based on that button, I’m guessin’ I didn’t get away totally unnoticed, and it’s probably all over YouTube by now! So, as usual, don’t tell your Aunt… ‘cause I sorta need the head start.

Won every debate

Lately it seems Bleeb has been trying very hard to get noticed.

His specialty is shorthand.

He left home at an early age: It was the Principal of the thing. :>)