Close to Home by John McPherson for November 29, 2020

I think it’s a great trick. Serves you thugs right.

Bleeb gets Sundays off?

The same one that named the Rottweiler Jesus.

In my closet I have an old locked metal suitcase filled with rocks. If stolen I’ll tell the police to look for a thief with a hernia.

Me.

CSI: Amazon

A Russian Nesting Doll maker, that’s who.

Me.

I routinely give presents nested deep into many a box each well wrapped. It is fun for all.

Brother-in-law put engagement ring in a block of cement. Took her a while but she found it.

Oh no! Bleeb’s stuck in the bad guy’s flashlight! What to do?

Okay. I like that. I think I will put a line in my will about the family treasure I have been guarding and point to something like this. Good place to keep a spare bible.

What? No box with a punching glove on the end of a spring?

“Well Louie, it ain’t gonna matta much, when da mook finds out dat we squashed his prized pet yellow bug wit one o’ deez here safes!”

“Yo… Vinnie! You smell sump’n?”

“Yes, Louie, I do! It appears ta be coming from da vicinity of, or the thereabouts, of underneat’ dat last safe you just opened! And, foidermore, I would venture a guess dat it’s commin’ from da aforementioned prized yellow bug!”

“So, Louie, based on dat critical information for which I have just imparted upon youse… dis is da part where we beat a hasty retreat…. Umm, dat means we leave, Louie!”

…maybe add a glitter bomb in the last one… that would be the best ending!

And the silver lining gets smaller…

Anyone see Bleeb?

Where’s the bug hiding this time?

By now the police would be outside

You can’t beat me, I’m full of tinier men!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctPqNSrmknA

No Bleeb :(