Herman by Jim Unger for December 03, 2020

…And pick up some spot remover on your way home…

I want to make a run to the liquor store.

Spotted stuff keeps one home. Anything else, it depends.

Her concern is touching.

Actually, it’s with touching him. As long as he’s out of the house she doesn’t have to. The paycheck is like a bonus.

Some things are more important than others. All depends on your view. His doesn’t count.

Direct deposit was made for this.

man i had it all planned out. Happy Payday greeting cards. then out comes direct deposit and i’m ruined……

Come hell or high water, you’re going in! The hives will go away……eventually.

Another day in the cesium mine.

I didn’t want direct deposit for years (stubborn), but when I finally gave in, I loved it.

The day of my oldest boy’s 3 year checkup, he found a blue “El Marco” permanent marker and covered this body evenly with blue dots. Not sure his little brother did not help. After checkup, he was standing on the doctor’s table in his diaper. Doctor I asked, “Any concerns?”

“He’s breaking out in these blue dots,” I quipped.

“Blue marker fever is rarely fatal but can last up to a week.”

thought it was a spider on his chest – might explain the spots – then realized it was a couple of chest hairs amongst the landscape

Besides, the patisserie needs you.

Ah, what a love….

Be sick the day before or the day after but go to work on payday.

Now you can play connect the dots.

Oh the days of paper checks! I recall one employer that would allow the employee’s spouse to pick up the check if the employee was out sick. Not sure how “legal” that is but assuming the check was written out to the employee, I doubt any harm came to that.

Due to a tight bank balance, and an unexpected expense, I once had to make my regular commute to my office — 80 miles on a Greyhound bus — on a non-work day, just so I could pick up my check.

I signed up for direct deposit the following day.

The measly man has to go pick up his measly paycheck…

This is how Covid-19 is spread