Strange Brew by John Deering for December 02, 2020

Ooh, light AND heat. And when a tree falls down, instead of hitting power lines and leaving me in the cold darkness, it provides sticks for more heat and light. How come nobody’s ever thought of this before?

Take that invention of yours and just wheel it on in here.

Why that’s the best thing since … well, I don’t know what. Nobody has invented sliced bread, yet.

And so, Pyrork got his patent. But enforcing it turned out to be impossible.

Supposedly, in the midish 19ᵗʰ̶ Century the head of the Patent Office said that they’d probably be closing down shortly, because there would be nothing left to invent.

Don’t close down yet, the wheel is just around the corner.

So much for the time travel fantasy where you dazzle the cave men with your lighter.

Something tells me I’m into something good…

That’s when Jimi’s great great (1,000 pages skipped for brevity) great grandfather wrote “Let me Stand Next to your Fire”!

Back in high school my history teacher pointed to a boy’s wristwatch and remarked that if he went back to Ancient Rome with that he’d be treated as a god. Had I known at the time I’d’ve replied ‘possibly. But the Greeks or Chinese or Persians would have figured out the mechanics of the thing even then. And in early dark age Europe he may have been burned at the stake as a witch.’ But I didn’t know at the time. Oy Vey.

But, but…, FIRE…BAD!