Farcus by David Waisglass and Gordon Coulthart for December 14, 2021

Women’s help line

Look and tell me which button is showing the most wear.

“For three hours of annoying music and repetitive announcements, stay on-line.”

“For abuse, please hang up and call someone who actually wants to talk to you, you snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings.”

For hearing this menu again, press off.

….and everybody on the Internet pressed ‘3’.

Years ago, my wife’s tech-industry cousin had his answering machine set up like that for each member of his family. I think it was just for show…

Your call is extremely important to us here at Gutless Healthcare!

Back in an earlier lifetime when we had an answering machine at home, our message was, “If you’re selling something, we’ve moved; otherwise wait for the beep.”

“You were supposed to press 3 for argument.”

“I did press 3.”

“No you didn’t.”

“I Did!”

For computer support press FF