Basic Instructions by Scott Meyer for February 12, 2021

At least he’ll be able to find his car in a Walmart parking lot. Just head towards the smoke — ’cause I assume someone will have set it on fire while he was in the store.

I own an Infiniti, first really decent car I ever had. I discovered the most useless feature of cars at that level. I spend 20 minutes clearing the snow off the car, lights, windows, with numb fingers I get in the car, and the first thing it tells me is that it’s cold outside. Really!? I hadn’t noticed. Thank you for telling me!

In the early/mid eighties, I remember my friend’s parents had a new K car that would announce “A door is a jar” (I know it’s ajar, but that what it sounded like).we found it quite amusing and annoying.

My brother once repainted his car from red into red. He didn’t like the first red tone.

Purple and blue or purple and red would have worked on that Benz.

What I have found more common is someone who orders a fine scotch like ardbeg and has it mixed with a cola

My car’s “Metal-flake” color is called “Midnight Slate”. At a certain angle, it looks green. At another, it looks kind of dark blue. But mostly, it looks grey, and that’s not because I haven’t washed it… ☺

I had a classmate who totaled three Ferraris, then went to disposable mustangs.