Close to Home by John McPherson for February 20, 2021

Uh-oh Bleeb has been captured. I fear what they are going to do with him.

Nah, he just found a nice place to chill.

That’s a batchelor for you. She’ll want to marry him and change him.

That’s no expiration date, it is a licensed Super Bowl tie in…the Roman numerals give it away

Date does not matter. If it does not reek, is not green, and there is nothing fuzzy growing on it then don’t waste it. If still doubtful just either spread it on cold pizza or put it in the perpetual stew pot. — Bachelor Code

It’s alive!

still good..what’s the problem?

As an ex-Target employee that worked in grocery it does not surprise me. That was probably manufactured last week. We had to remove old product off the shelf and Roman numerals would’ve been a treat. 1 you can hardly fine the expiry dates , 2 was that expiry or manufacture. 3 if it baloney check the colour (LOL)

When my mother died I cleaned out the fridge and found a dozen of eggs that had been hiding in the back for 4 years. I am not joking. The eggs were 4 years old.

CAVEAT CONSVMPTOR

As long as it passes the eye and nose test, it’s fine.

Ooh! Bleeb’s chillin’…

Honey, smell this. Ya think it’s still good? Go ahead try a little.

Wait t’il she sees the old stuff in the bathroom medicine cabinet!

I see a bleep

What, you can’t read Roman numerals?

Bugs me to see people give their too old food to animals. If I’m throwing it out, then I no longer trust it not to make me sick. If it’ll make me sick, it’ll make an animal sick.

Ooooh I would auction that

The only things fresh in there are the beer and Bleeb.

Reminds me of the classic Far Side cartoon….when Mayo goes bad.

Snerks – Is it green and fuzzy? No? That’s the mayonnaise. Yes? It’s my night school bio experiment.

Meanwhile, back in the studio…

Where’s the alien! Anyone seen the alien!?

ɪ’ᴍ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴍᴀᴄʜɪɴᴇ… ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ, ʙʟᴇᴇʙᴏ, ʙʟᴇᴇʙsᴛᴇʀ, ʙʟᴇᴇʙ-ᴀ-ʀɪɴᴏ, ᴛʜᴇ ʙʟᴇᴇʙᴍᴇɪsᴛᴇʀ!

Why are you doing that goofy voice like Rich the copy guy from SNL?

Why do you look like you bought your clothes at…oh, I dunno, A DUMPSTER FIRE?!

Hey, I thought we had gotten past all the insults, and we were going to get along on set, you know… friendly, cordial, civil, Director/Actor stuff!?

ᴡᴇ ᴡᴇʀᴇ… ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇᴅ ɪᴛ!

No I didn’t! ʏᴇs, ʏᴀ ᴅɪᴅ! No I didn’t! ʏᴇs, ʏᴀ ᴅɪᴅ!

Okay, okay, let’s just agree to disagree and move on, whaddya say?

ʏᴇᴀʜ, ʏᴇᴀʜ, sᴜʀᴇ, ᴏᴋᴀʏ! (ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴀ ᴅɪᴅ)

I wonder if Bleeb has an expiration date.

If in doubt, send it to the Mayo Clinic for analysis.

It’s next to the pasta sauce, whose label is in some kind of hieroglypics.

Circa VI anni

I have read, in several different places, that honey NEVER spoils. It does crystalize though, giving it an interesting texture.