Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for April 02, 2021

In your case Aunty, I would say nothing left pretty much sums it up.

That’s right, you’re what’s left.

Yes, but left-handed people are always in their right mind. Bᴖ)

Somebody finally told you?

I’ve half a mind to think about that, but only half a mind.

Time to get marching, Aunty…left, right, left…

I am an engineer. Therefore, I use my left brain more than I use my right brain.

My left brain is like the garage of that neighbor you love to hate: he has a place for everything and everything in its place: peg boards with the outline of each tool that belongs there, a work bench with outlets every 6 inches and he even has his screws sorted in containers in alphabetical order.

My right brain is like a teenager’s bedroom. ‘Nuff said.

Both halves of my brain are on somewhat speaking terms. I gather all the facts of the problem in my left brain and organize them logically. 90% of the time, this solves the problem.

For the other 10%, I toss the problem over the corpus callosum to the right brain. It’s like handing it an intricately machined jig saw puzzle. The first thing the right brain does is dump the contents on the floor and throw away the box.

Then it fits pieces together that were not intended to fit. My left brain has learned not to kibbitz by saying things like “Hey, you can’t do that!” or “It would help if you turned one of the pieces over so you’re not looking at the back.”

In fact, my left brain has learned to but out completely. It’s sort of like watching the operations at a slaughterhouse: I know something is going on, but I’d never eat a Big Mac again if I knew the details of all the steps in how it got from the pasture to the bun.

All I know is that without seemingly thinking about it, I often get handed back brilliant solutions to the problems that would normally and literally defy logic. Only in hindsight, do these solutions make sense.

Aunty, your loyal readers discovered that a very long time ago.

Early Elvis recording on Sun Records: ♪ “I’m Left, You’re Right, She’s Gone” ♪

You’re in a quandary because your brain is too tense. 2/10 the size of a normal brain.

“And never the brain shall meet…”

(^  ⌣ʖ^)

Poor Dear Aunty!!!

You’re definitely a right brained person, and the ain’t right.

I mailed this to Mum’s nursing home!

Pretty much something up everyone’s pollie system.Pity there’s also a divider down the middle that most pollies really don’t want to move otherwise some of them, not many mind you, would find out there could be some good ideas outside their blinkered view