Rubes by Leigh Rubin for March 26, 2021

No shoes, no shirt, no tattoos.

Well, that explains a lot.

I once wanted to show my chosen one how I loved her and tried to carve our names in a trunk – Boy, I can tell you that elephant was angry at me!

Tattoos: a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling.

A Moose once bit my sister… No realli! She was Karving her initials on the moose with the sharpened end of an interspace toothbrush given her by Svenge – her brother-in-law …

I like the sentiment, but, sadly, a tree with a hollow space big enough for a squirrel nest already has problems

tattoos are skin pollution

Who brings a knife on a date?

Especially when the solution to the reminder of a broken relationship that was carved in a tree is a “chainsaw” (The Band Perry)

I once carved a girls name on a trunk. Then the cops found her body in it.

And here is his tattoo https://i.chzbgr.com/full/3274547712/hC3E661D5/youre-no-zombie-boy

Or he could just carve her initials in his arm.

Just like “tagging” with paint – nobody wants to see that.