The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for May 07, 2021

“You don’t know how hard it is to stop smoking.” / “Yes I do, it’s as hard as it is to start flossing.” —Mitch Hedberg

That dental patient not only doesn’t have any meat on his bones, he doesn’t have any skin either.

Mental floss?

Only a Zombie would have brain in his teeth…but why would he be at the dentist?

At the dentist? Clearly the zombie didn’t think this through.

“Abby somebody.”

A whole brain – caught in his throat – okay.

But stuck in his teeth – no way.

More like 1692!

1962 was when he broke up with his girlfriend, Flossie.

I think we’re going to have to do a root canal.

Ah – the only thing scarier than a zombie…

The brains in Spain are mainly served plain.

I can tell you don’t chew your food either.

No, No, don’t cut my Corpus Callosum or I might walk normal and be ousted by society.

Makes me feel better about my upcoming dental appointment…. I may not floss as much as I should but at least I’m not this guy

And his breath is a bit funky too. Mouthwash isn’t doing it’s job!

Brains.

I know you eat brains.

But CHEW your food.

This is a whole brain stuck in your teeth.