That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for May 12, 2021

The sculptor attracted customers by offering statues with interchangeable heads.

You came in to buy a small bust, next thing you know you are buying a 10 foot sculpture. Your wife is going to be soo pissed.

Why, you’re right! He does look just like me! How much did you say this sculpture was again?

Robert Plant getting inspiration for his poses in “The Song Remains the Same.”

Why does the artist have so many assistants lurking in the shadows? I think the ‘buyer’ is about to get mugged.

I said, “Heads up”, not heads down…

I’m afraid this buyer is going to be chiseled.

“I’m aghast and I don’t get aghasted very easily. What the hell is going on between his legs?”

You want a large bust, Madam? You already seem to have one.

Still better than the stage production of “Cats.”

does ‘netherlandish’ mean ‘a bit like a netherland’…?

Truly sir, this is a marbleous statue — don’t take it for granite.

After 320 years it appears that this painting is overdue for a cleaning. I wonder what is actually there under all the grunge?

The sculpture is truly impressive/ the work of a manic obsessive/ anatomically true/(I would say – wouldn’t you?)/ but the client is somewhat regressive. /// The studio swarms with assistants/ who display an impressive resistance/ to the simplest of chores/ – they just squat on the floor/ and observe from a critical distance./// The sculpture will have to await/ the decision of some reprobate/ some magnate whose lawn/ has flamingos thereon/ will determine its ultimate fate.

CLASS! CLASS! We have a guest today………. Officer Stadanko

I like the “Southern Netherlandish” description. Flemish has so many problems with it in this 21st century world. First would be, where is it and why isn’t in the UN. Second would be the 11-year-old in me giggling on about a country of phlegm

PATRON OF THE ARTS: Why yes, from this vantage point I CAN see that she is not wearing panties. I’LL TAKE IT!"

Baron Von Schtup was shocked to see the figure was circumcised. The artist ( who moonlighted as a mohel ) explained it was just a slip of the chisel.

Okay, get those voyeurs out of here!

Make me a bust of a bust in the mouth!

Sculptor workshop and visit of the collector: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Van_Den_Bossche,_Bottega_dello_scultore_con_visita_del_collezionista,_69x59.jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

https://digital.sciencehistory.org/works/v405sb34p 

https://www.wga.hu/bio_m/b/bossche/biograph.html 

https://www.proantic.com/en/display.php?id=743053 

https://www.askart.com/artist/Balthasar_Van_Den_Bossche/11154656/Balthasar_Van_Den_Bossche.aspx 

all have info, or links that point to more info, about this artist (again, askart.com can be read in full for free on Fridays), perhaps in addition to what’s pointed to by the title URL. First work by him used here.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2705 (May 11, 2021) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment.

So, is the sculpted guy holding a woman who is pregnant with a glowing alien baby? I’m not quite getting the perspective on that part of the statue.

Can someone please explain the monkey (ball and chain?!!) and the parrot. This is one very weird painting.

“How many heads are better than one?”

Leonardo returns just in time to catch the vandals playing with his marbles! :>)

“What’s the name of this sculpture?”

“You better hold on to her tight! Just like a fish, she is slippery; and if she gets away; you won’t catch her again.”

“That’s quite a long name …”

Is it supposed to be a copy of the Rape of the Sabines?